Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Manager confusion WWYD?

29 replies

Twiceshyasbitten · 12/11/2022 14:47

So I was away from work for a while (variety of reasons) and I have now returned. Pre temporary departure I was quite stressed out and I think I mentioned something over the phone to my managers line manager, about my manager, treating me in such a way after an illness and subsequent sick leave that it made me depressed and stressed out.

I have no idea why my manager was then such a bitch at that time, pre temporary departure. I was treated very differently to the rest of the team and I even wondered if my manager was neurodiverse so I was trying to brush it off and excuse them...

Since my return, I know for certain now that my manager is neuro typical, can be nice, can be lovely, can be approachable, even can make a joke...so WTAF?! She was the complete opposite of this before, but only to me...

It makes all of the negative experiences I had before my temporary departure even more hurtful as there was no excuse or reason for such poor treatment!!!

I don't know what to do really...I'm incredibly wary...I don't trust her one bit...but wonder if I should and just relax?!

DH says she might have been going through something at the time...but I don't get why it was taken out on me?!

OP posts:

Divilment · 13/11/2022 11:53

CrimsonAlligator · 13/11/2022 10:11

Sounds like what happened is that your manager wasn’t very nice to you, then your manager’s manager had a word and now she’s changed her behaviour. There’s no big mystery here. It could simply be that there was a bit of a personality clash between you. All that matters is that she’s behaving professionally now and will probably continue to do so, if her manager has got their eye on her.

Just to add to everyone else’s responses - I also think your opening post was offensive. You’re not being trolled here, people are simply pointing out that your first post and some of your responses don’t come across well.

This. And I agree that from some of your assumptions and the tone of your responses on here that it’s perfectly possible you contributed to the previous dynamic.

billy1966 · 13/11/2022 12:44

I would think her original behaviour is who she is.

Her manager mentioned to her that you have mentioned her treatment of you.

She has adjusted her behaviour as a result.

Her original behaviour is who she is.

Be professional and do not get involved.

She showed you who she is.

Do your job and stay professional and job hunt if and when it suits you.

I wouldn't let my guard down with her.

Braidsnbuttons · 13/11/2022 13:41

I think it would be very interesting to hear it from your managers point of view. Perhaps you have been an extremely difficult member of staff to manage ?
At what point does a manager get to draw the line between having an easy pleasant working relationship with some staff and just being professional with other staff who are dicks ? Managers are human too and some might just choose not to be fake with staff who are down right unpleasant to them !

AgentJohnson · 13/11/2022 13:59

Op you really aren’t coming across well here.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread