I posted about six weeks ago as I'd just found out I was pregnant again (I have one daughter). The pregnancy was unplanned and my partner wasn't happy about it to the extent that he tried to talk me into having an abortion. I refused, and a few weeks later, he came round to the idea. He was the one who wanted to discuss names etc
I was thrilled to be pregnant, but from the start, something felt off. I just didn't feel as pregnant as I had with my now 22 month old daughter. With my daughter, I had lots of symptoms from the day I saw the two lines appear, but I tried to tell myself that every pregnancy is different.
By eight weeks or so, I did have some symptoms and was feeling exhausted. On Monday evening, I noticed some brown spotting. I'd had that with my daughter too, but earlier on in the pregnancy. I'd already had my booking appointment and called the hospital's EPU on Tuesday. I was booked in for a scan on Wednesday morning. As soon as the image appeared on the screen, I knew it was bad news. The sonographer asked if I was sure about my dates and I was. She said that at this stage, there would be far more too - the only this there was a yolk sac without any sign of a fetal pole at all - a blighted ovum. I somehow wasn't shocked because I'd been expecting it but I felt shattered. A nurse spoke to me and booked me in for another scan in two weeks. I wasn't hopeful at all. My spotting has now turned into heavy bleeding and a miscarriage is well and truly happening. I'm devastated but I have to try and put on a happy face for my little girl, because she needs me and I can't bear for her to see my tears.
My partner has been worse than useless. He doesn't seem bothered in the slightest and hasn't even offered me one kind word or tried to comfort me at all, just shrugged his shoulders and told me I knew he wasn't happy about the pregnancy. It was my last chance of another baby and a sibling for my daughter and my heart is breaking. I'm 42 next April and I don't think I will ever be able to get pregnant again, plus my partner will never agree to even try. I feel so lost and alone, but I know I have to keep it together for the sake of the child I already do have.
I'm not looking for sympathy, just anything that might give me a glimmer of hope that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.