How do you move on?

[singleone]

DH has left, it's his decision but I'm not entirely blindsided but it. Things have been rocky for a while but we had counselling and had thought we were moving on. We've grown apart and it's not a salvageable situation.
On paper it's an easy split with no dependants but emotionally it's a toughie. Our lives are intertwined; work for the same organisation, know a lot of the same people families live very close to each other and good relationships all round

How do you move on and cope on your own? I can't imagine not living with him, not seeing him/spending time with him.
I should be sleeping in preparation for work but my mind is racing and my head is thumping.

Sorry to hear that OP, it sounds tough. I think in your shoes I would try to work on temporarily inserting some distance from each other so you can process the break up. For example, could you transfer temporarily to another location, or move roles within the organisation, to avoid coming into contact? Personally I’d find it really hard to get over someone if I saw them every day at work, but I’m not sure from your post if that’s the case.

I would do the same with friends too tbh - explain you’re absolutely not wanting them to “pick sides” and that you hope in the future you’ll all get on amicably, but just in the short-term hang out individually with people rather than attending full group meet ups where you’re likely to bump into him. I’m not saying you should miss out because DH is there, so of course go if you want to, but I’d like to feel a bit more in control of knowing when I’d see him, so I’d be making my own arrangements too so that it wasn’t every time.

Do you have any hobbies or activities you attend separately to DH? If so, focus a bit more on that for a bit. If not, now would be a good time to start one! Just keep doing things that bring you joy so you don’t feel you’re missing out on your normal life, but things that also distract you from the present situation.

I know right now it’s impossible to imagine life without DH, but you will be able to adapt to a new lifestyle, it might take some time and some distance initially. Hugs OP, you can do this!

I'm probably massively overthinking things just now.

Thankfully we don't work directly together but do have crossover and deal with serious circumstances when we do. The issue is we Can go weeks without direct contact or 5 incidents in a day which makes it all the more difficult to avoid.

Friends are mainly his so I will most definitely be dropped, understandably. I just joined his gym so will need to leave there and find somewhere else.

I know things will get better and we will both survive it's just bloody awful knowing is over for good and knowing everyone will be talking about us (it's that kind of place)