I feel alone since I separated from my wife

[Gryuh]

its been 2 years since then, we have a kid together, im an introvert she is extrovert so she could move on alot faster than me, its hard for me to go out and talk to strangers, also i hate where i am right now, i had to move to a new country so i could be near my son, but i dont know anyone here, also the language is a barrier + my introvert nature, i wake up every day wishing to have a partner that would be there for me on my good and bad days, i took off like 1 and a half year from everything to work on myself, but my current situation just tell me that i need to wait even more time, since i dont have a stable job, im not independent yet, so its not sexy to be with me, i dont have anything to offer, so its really frustating my daily life, im 80% of the time bored, i try to fill the gap with more habits, but i feel like nothing fills me, i think i been alone for way to long (my friends are in my birth country, these 2 years i been alone, it was literally, no friends / women), i tried to join like a sport club or some activities so i could meet people, but i dont have money for this yet, what can i do to stop feeling llonely ? is it bad to feel like i want someone else to be with me in this?

Sorry to hear that OP. It's totally normal to want a relationship & often for introverts a relationship is the best way of fulfilling more moderate social needs. The one thing I'm picking up on is that you could perhaps be a little more proactive, what do you think? I know it's hard to spring into action when you're feeling low. But having no money is clearly not helping. What are you doing to try and find a permanent job?

right now i cant get a decent job as i dont have papers to work, so i have to take anything that i can find, and u can imagine how are those jobs, i tried to go out but i dont feel in my 'zone', i tried dating apps but everything stay in chats so i deleted them, i was with her for almost 11 years, we had out home together, and its been tought switching to a lonely life, i know it has been 2 years, but in these 2 years i was with my son so i felt good, but since i had to move to a new country to start working on my status i had to left him in other country, his mom told me she was going to bring him in 3 months but she lied to me, now im stuck in a country i dont want to be in, without my son, and now i have to deal with my sons papers and she didnt do anything, i was thinking on going back and stay with him, but she may go later and take him to this new country so its a toguht situation

Why dont you try volunteering and helping others. Doing good deeds for others will make you feel better and you'll be making a difference to others lives. You could also use it on a CV as work experience.

How can I start doing this ? Is there a website I can look for this kind of offers ?

I'll be honest, your post made me tearful - or maybe it's the wine! Particularly this bit: "i need to wait even more time, since i dont have a stable job, im not independent yet, so its not sexy to be with me, i dont have anything to offer"

Why? Cos the man I'm with now used to talk like that after a similar life event. 'I don't see what I've got to offer to anyone, I don't see how I can give you what you deserve'. It absolutely broke me at the time, seeing him having lost all self-belief. But things got a lot better for him over time, and they will for you, too.

It's normal to go through feeling like this after divorce, especially if you self-identify as an introvert and are alone in a foreign country without any close relationships.

It does sound like you need to get back on your feet, and it may feel like dating/ a relationship would fix everything, but maybe you aren't quite ready for it, not because of job situation, but sounds like your head is all over the place.

Try a couple of things, not sure what works for you:

• Chat to your friends back home/ people you know well and trust. It might have to be online but can still be really good. You don't have to open up about the big stuff right away, just nice to have some company. Women can often be really good listeners, so don't just focus on the men
• Parents/ family - make an effort to connect with them more. It's likely that they'll understand you and worry about yoru situation - if you have a good relationship with them
• Work - can you channel your energy into whatever you're doing for work right now? You may not love it, but it helps build bridges and refocusing on this makes the week go quicker. Work can be a good place to make friends
• Your child - front and centre of everything. Prioritise and enjoy your time together, really dive into your child's worls whenever you're together. Can give you fulfiment, help you feel better about stuff and give you more of a sense of purpose
• Mental health - you don't need to go off to see a shrink, but little things like a routine, eating at set times and getting outside already make a big difference. Being indoors with your thoughts can be really overwhelming so avoid that, but your shoes on and get outside, walk, run, whatever
• Hold on to the people that you do know in person. Get together with them more, say yes when people ask you to do things. It's easier to say 'no' but if you want to meet people where you are, you have to get out of your comfort zone a little

Yes, ok, for many women certain superficial characteristics can be important in a guy. For some others they look an entirely different things. But sounds like right now you need to improve your self-esteem and feel better in yourself. If your long-term plan is to stay in that country for your child, you need to make it work for you. Focus on getting your life organised, looking after yourself, and the right woman will come along.