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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Single - is it normal to feel like this?

4 replies

Northerngal02 · 11/11/2022 20:23

So basically, I’ve been single since July 2022. I don’t think he got over his previous relationship and he just used me really to get over it, I healed him and he broke my heart. The rest of the year I was just a mess and seen boys in between but never felt anything. I was seeing someone in December 22 and fell pregnant due to a pill failure and was forced into having a termination (won’t go into the details why) it broke my heart in a whole different way and it’s took until now to recover from it. August this year I was with someone but we agreed just to keep it casual until he said he had feelings for me, which I told him honestly I didn’t and that was never the agreement. I didn’t want to lead him on and hurt him. He then said I ‘took a s**t on his heart.’ But then had intercourse with me while I was sleeping which I said I didn’t like but he didn’t see any wrong in it. I haven’t been with anyone since and I’m just not interested and the way I feel at the moment is that I never ever want to be with anyone ever again. At 26 year old I’m done with men. I feel like I have hatred towards them, even ones I don’t know. I’ms it normal to feel like this? I feel like I’ve accepted now I’ll just be on my own now forever, I can’t bear the thoughts of being touched, dating, even talking to a male.

OP posts:
FuckFuckGo · 11/11/2022 20:45

But then had intercourse with me while I was sleeping which I said I didn’t like but he didn’t see any wrong in it.

This is rape OP. I’m not surprised you feel the way you do.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 11/11/2022 20:45

What you're feeling is very normal for someone who's been raped, OP, which is what that man did to you when you were sleeping.

You are experiencing the trauma now and it's coming out as revulsion and distrust of men. That's your instincts trying to keep you safe from this happening again. It's a natural response to trauma. It doesn't need to be permanent and it's completely normal.

Could you access some counselling or therapy around this? It might also be of benefit if you have some unresolved feelings about the termination.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Not all men are untrustworthy rapists. Sadly enough are that your experience is not uncommon.

Northerngal02 · 11/11/2022 20:55

Northerngal02 · 11/11/2022 20:23

So basically, I’ve been single since July 2022. I don’t think he got over his previous relationship and he just used me really to get over it, I healed him and he broke my heart. The rest of the year I was just a mess and seen boys in between but never felt anything. I was seeing someone in December 22 and fell pregnant due to a pill failure and was forced into having a termination (won’t go into the details why) it broke my heart in a whole different way and it’s took until now to recover from it. August this year I was with someone but we agreed just to keep it casual until he said he had feelings for me, which I told him honestly I didn’t and that was never the agreement. I didn’t want to lead him on and hurt him. He then said I ‘took a s**t on his heart.’ But then had intercourse with me while I was sleeping which I said I didn’t like but he didn’t see any wrong in it. I haven’t been with anyone since and I’m just not interested and the way I feel at the moment is that I never ever want to be with anyone ever again. At 26 year old I’m done with men. I feel like I have hatred towards them, even ones I don’t know. I’ms it normal to feel like this? I feel like I’ve accepted now I’ll just be on my own now forever, I can’t bear the thoughts of being touched, dating, even talking to a male.

Sorry I meant single since July 2021

OP posts:
RandomMusings7 · 11/11/2022 20:55

FuckFuckGo · 11/11/2022 20:45

But then had intercourse with me while I was sleeping which I said I didn’t like but he didn’t see any wrong in it.

This is rape OP. I’m not surprised you feel the way you do.

Rape. He raped you. Let that sink in.

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