How much time does your partner spend with your children

[startofanewlife4]

I have been in a relationship with someone for a while and I have decided it is now time that he meets my children. This is all new to me, and I think it would be different for different people but it would be good to get opinions and experiences from other people.

During the eary stages of your children meeting your partner, how often would they spend time together? I'm planning for the first few meetings to be outside the home to keep it neutral and for the children to be having fun, should they be around once a week-ish, less often or more so? I know that over time this will change, become more frequent and 'normal' when he becomes part of our lives but what is usual to start?

Please be kind, I am so worried about getting this right for my children. Thank you.

Hi op! How long have you been with your partner and how old are your kids? Do they know about the partner/want to meet him?

Every situation is different it sounds like you're doing your best to do the right thing.

I'd say meeting for a coffee or walk in a neutral place is a good plan! As long as it doesn't feel forced or the kids really don't want to be there ! X

We've been together a little over 6 months. My children are primary aged and know about him. They've known for a few weeks. I have discussed with them whether they want to meet him now or would prefer to wait a little longer and they seem quite excited at the thought of meeting him. I'm thinking a walk/park for the first meeting, but wondering where to take things from there. Thank you 😊

Initially it was just a couple of hours a week. I never forced them to spend time together though, first time he came around for dinner with me and it was up to them if they wanted to join us (they both did) but after dinner they were able to retreat back to their room. We gradually increased it.

I think it sounds lovely and that you're making sensible decisions! If your kids are eager to meet him, go for it! 😊

Walk and park sounds ideal first meeting then just take cues from your children's reactions.

If they had fun try park and a hot chocolate.

And just build it up, or roll it back, depending on how the kids are.

As long as you both adults keep the kid's needs first and foremost, there are no set rules.

Thank you 😊 the first meeting has happened and it went really well. We met at a park but parked a little away so we could all chat on the walk there/back as otherwise the kids would just play the whole time and it seemed like it was the right thing to do. The children relaxed quickly in his presence and have spoken to me about the meet since and have said they like him and want to get to know him better.

Due to schedules it will probably be a couple of weeks until we next manage to meet like this but I am so happy it went well 😊