I can't help but resent my husband. We are a dual income household, me being the larger earner, and I think my lines of what traditionally falls under men and woman roles are all a bit blurred. I think a bit of how we were brought up hasn't helped.
When I had my maternity leaves, I had to financially support myself. I subconsciously did it not even thinking forefront of mind he needed to help support this time off. It's only 10 years later I sort of think "why was I thinking of financially supporting myself and not us"
He lost his job during Covid and I financially supported us during this time. We ate into our savings and gained some debt which we have managed to clear.
I have outearned him for the past 10 years but I also do the mental load for the household and kids. He does alot of the heavy lifting i.e. driving them to sports practice at the weekend and after school etc.
This morning we had a argument because I tend to get up in the night with the kids. So when we go through phases like this he retreat to the spare bedroom and I have the kids. Then in the morning I get up and have to wake everyone up including him. I lost it this morning as I would have appreciated him getting up and taking them down so I could just have 5 mins. He gets a full night sleep so could get up earlier to help.
I feel like I have the mental / nurturing load which typically falls under a female role but none of the security. I can't quite explain it rightly but it is wearing me down.