I am divorced with DC. Recently met another divorcee also with DC. Started dating, it has been fun and respectful. All in all it has been two months of dating. Went away together two weeks ago. For some reason I have been triggered this week and my head is all over the place. Can you help me figure this out?
Following quite an intense time away together (3 days solid in each others' company) we have returned to normal life, with work and DC demands. The relationship started out as quite lopsided (he actively sought me out and pursued me - I was unsure if I was interested at the beginning, but we have a few connections via work and some overlapping projects so we naturally saw each other quite a bit.)
This week has been the following:
Monday - he asked to meet for lunch. I agreed. We had a fun, enjoyable lunch. He had a commitment for work in the evening.
Tuesday - he had a work commitment in the evening and asked to see me afterwards. I agreed. He said the commitment would be from 7-9pm and we'd have dinner at 9. I put my DC to bed and got a babysitter at 8 and sat and waited for him to contact me telling me where to meet him for dinner. It got to 9.30 and I felt like an idiot: the babysitter was wondering why I wasn't going out, it seemed to be getting late for dinner, I had sat around the whole evening, so I messaged him and said, "look it's getting a bit late, you said the meeting was until 9, I need to send my Nanny home. Let;s meet another time." I sent my Nanny home. At 9.45 he called me saying where are you, I'm ready, let's go! I said "I sent my Nanny home, you said your dinner would finish at 9." He was a bit drunk and came and stood outside of my flat and spoke to me from the window (I am two floors up in central London.) Then he went home. We agreed on the phone that we would have dinner together on Wednesday.
Wednesday - in the morning he texts me to tell me that his daughter has had an emergency and he needs to be with her tonight. He has told me before that she has an eating disorder, so I completely understand. I say of course that's fine. We chat as usual for an hour or so and agree that I will go with him to his work dinner (10 people) on Thursday (last night) because there is some crossover with my work too.
Thursday - I get a bit nervous as I do not know anyone at the evening dinner. I text him and say I am nervous and worried that people may wonder why I am there. He texts back and says it'll be okay, you'll have a good seat, you can sit next to me and it will be relevant to your line of work. I get to the dinner and he is quite formal and polite. I presume it's because it's because of his work colleagues. I speak to everyone, and have some good conversations. When it comes to sit down there is fixed seating (name cards) and I am not next to him but next to two people I do not know. Instead he is next to a different woman. We do not speak all night, but I make conversation with the people next to me. After the dinner he grabs me and says he has to stay for a drink with this other woman who is a client, and can I join them. I sit through another hour of them talking and laughing about in jokes. She finally leaves, it's 11pm. He turns to me and says let's get another drink. At this point I feel really frustrated and uncertain and I say that I am not happy. He says he doesn't understand, why would I not be happy?. I say that I am going to go home. I book a taxi and I leave. He sends me a text saying that he doesn't understand what's going on. I don't reply.
We have texted a bit this morning and agreed to meet today to talk about it. I cannot think clearly at all. I don't know if IABU or he is BU. I don't know if he's not in to me. What do you think? What would you do or say to him?