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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Miss my husband

6 replies

CrimboLimbo · 11/11/2022 01:16

Ahh such a crap sappy thread but it’s getting to me.

Been married approx 10 years. Two girls, 8 and 5. Both of us working full time in stressful, full on jobs. Our lives are busy like most at our stage.

we are like passing ships. We don’t get much time to ourselves. Kids have sleep issues (which we are working on) and so our evenings are often taken up with that fiasco. We don’t have many childcare options so we don’t really get out.

Found ourselves with an hour to ourselves tonight. Aaaand we flopped on the couch and barely spoke. Because we have not very much to talk about? I don’t really know.

He’s a great dad and a good husband. But I feel a little bit… taken for granted, maybe? I still fancy him (and I think he still fancies me) but we are so tired and so time-poor that sex is pretty rare these days. I often feel like he’s just not really up for it. Prefers to spend a quiet five mins on his phone than sweeping me off my feet 😂😑

I just feel like we’ve lost the closeness. I’ve spoken to him about it. He swears it’s there and that he’s just tired and we have a lot going on and that’s true. Is this normal though?

OP posts:
pointythings · 11/11/2022 09:12

I think the sleep issues make things really tough and I hope you work those out. Meanwhile it is probably worth having an honest conversation about how you can use the little time you do have to find moments of closeness and connection that would work for both of you - even if he's cuddling you in one arm while he's playing on his phone, or you choose something to stream that comes in bite size half hour episodes. Keeping the communication going is really important for you both right now. You've picked up on this early, it can absolutely be saved.

CrimboLimbo · 11/11/2022 10:40

Thank you.

yeah the sleep thing is hellish. We just don’t get any time.

OP posts:
MaxTalk · 11/11/2022 12:36

Welcome to married life with kids...

LooneyToon · 11/11/2022 20:16

MaxTalk · 11/11/2022 12:36

Welcome to married life with kids...

Quite

CallmeCath · 11/11/2022 21:07

Oh Op, this makes me sad . Seduce and initiate with him , press all his buttons.

The kids sleep thing is irrelevant, kids do eventually sleep, opportunity is there. You clearly want your husband . Make time. Hope he responds

See how it goes after that.

22WR · 11/11/2022 21:14

Could you both book a day off work and have a full day together? Go for a nice walk or a museum/gallery and get some lunch?

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