Hi all,
I think I've been gaslit into oblivion now and I'm at the point where I can no longer see the situation for what it is. Can I get some opinions please?
My partner has his own firm and is under a lot of pressure at the moment and as a result of this he has completely changed as a person.
He has always been nasty with his mouth, when I was pregnant with his first child and I am now pregnant again and this doesn't mean anything when it comes to the way he speaks and treats me. He has name called me since we got together. Recently this has amplified massively and I find he takes things out on me a lot of the time.
Last week he burnt himself on the oven pan because I didn't tell him I had taken it out so recently and it was still very hot. He called me a "f-ing idiot" and stupid etc and my son copied everything he said. This hurt a lot. It put into perspective for me how much his ways could bleed into my children should they see more of this growing up.
Last week he was trying to do something on the computer that he was struggling with, he was swearing and shouting and being generally volatile as it wasn't going his way. He asked me for help on various occasions and every time I tried to help it would resort in him name calling me and being very passive aggressive. I went to bed in the end to diffuse the situation.
The next day he called me and I said if he would be trying to do this again that evening I wouldn't want to be there and wouldn't take my son around to a friends to avoid being in that situation (my late father was very similar and he made the house very very hostile when something didn't go his way, meaning the other night with OH was very triggering for me) he was very angry and name calling again so I text his mother politely saying "can you please help with this as I can't help anymore than I have, he is horrid to be around when he gets like this and I'm not putting up with it" (we're all very close). I did this as I was at my wits end and the thought of the possibility of another night like that worried me sick.
when he found out that I had said this he went absolutely mad. Claiming I was "scrounging" his money (he says this a lot) and used lots of silly things I done in my late teens against me. He claimed I am lazy, unproductive and a slob. (Previously he has told me that if he was a woman he would batter me, he hates me, I am dirty etc)
Tonight he has confronted me about the fact that I text his mum again. He claims this is all my fault, I add to the stress of work and I don't do anything to help him and I am now feeling like the worst other half in the world. Am I in the wrong for getting his mother involved? She's not said anything to him and I got it sorted for him in the end.
What's everyone's thoughts?