Ghosting and Moving on

[ELevenELeven84]

Well... Apart from being a mess and a wreck, I just wanted to get my heart out there!
Never been perfect, in fact, I've been known for making many mistakes, and always struggled to show love to those I love, although there's never been any doubt for them that I Do love them. I had these phases where I'd drink and do drugs for a few weeks in a row and then stop and back to normal.. promised id stop and I would, for a few months.. Love Wise, I have always been very loyal and Faithfull, and always chose to be with loved ones over anyone else.beginningmy gf and I we meant to go and get me some help to stop those binges I'd go on every now and then. And in October 10th I had an appointment to go and get proper treatment, mental as well. The week after, clean already, one beautiful Thursday and Friday we had the best 2 days and nights of our lives, Saturday afternoon a lovely siesta, she woke me up with a nice juicy kiss and said - "baby I'm going to work from 19.00 till 23.00 so I'll see u later, love U lots baby" which was normal cause she did have a part time at a hotel at those hours and early mornings as well, from 07.00 till 12.00 and then by midnight she called me and did say she was going to work next morning as well and was sleeping at her dad's which was near the hotel and roughly 15kilometers from our house..
2 days went by and she texted me saying she was sorry but she didn't say it before but she had moved to another country and she couldn't bring herself to tell me cause she knew I wouldn't support her choice and she had always dreamt of a better life. I told her she could have said anyways and we could have gone together and there were many options for us.. she then said she wanted to focus on her and has completely ghosted me while never went back online on any social platform while still has all of them..
its killing me..
her fam won't say a thing either but they swear there ain't no1 else involved but I should move on.
how can I.. how can one do when her clothes, her personal belongings still here... It's a pain that I can't even describe.
May the light brighten my was soon cause it's not getting easier.
Peace

I think you need to work on yourself, as harsh as it sounds why would she stay?

Would you, love you?

Use this as a pivotal moment of realisation and improve your life, get better

I can't follow this at all but I do think you need to move on and just take some time for yourself.

I am a binger by nature too.
You did go on the binges, and in those times she decided she'd had enough, and planned to escape and move overseas. Then you got clean and you had a couple of dreamy days together, and either she dithered and decided to go, or she just knew she was going anyway, but she went, and now this has happened. She has talked with her feet and there is nothing to do, so you need to keep going with your own recovery and establish it, and find a calm way of life, and maybe find someone who can then enjoy it with you. It will be worth it!
Get the clothes in a bag, give them to a charity shop, and move forward. You're doing it for you.

Yea sorry guys. I did try to edit this thread and copy paste a couple sentences but in the end it has ended up a bit messed, and I can't edit it. Sorry about how it comes across. Basically she seemed very supportive throughout and always stood by my side as she smokes weed herself and I always made sure I'd get her weed for every single day of her life, including her last day with me I got her 6grams which she left behind, she only had a spliff. And trust me, she couldnt go a few hours without it.. I do know 1 thing though, she couldn't hide the fact she loved me, her eyes, her body language, she left the 16th of October, and posted a picture of herself walking away on FB and quoted "look after the garden in your mind, the thoughts you water, grow" on the 22nd and that was it. Never been online again there or IG or WhatsApp or any social media whatsoever. Her cousin did manage to speak to her that day and asked her why wouldn't she at least give me a call so we could talk and eventually put some closure on things or whatever, and sobbing she said she didn't want me feel pity for her... And she hung hup on her and that was it. I mean.. I thought was the other way round??
I get that she wants a new life, I mean, I can understand anything she throws at me, if she threw it... But like this?? Without a word .. it's a very hard pillow to swallow. P.S. thanks for taking the time for saying anything, for as harsh as it is. Cause it isn't sweet. There's no sugar coating in these situations