Remaining friends

[Shallysally]

I’ve just this week split from
my bf. We have talked this morning and both agree that we don’t work as a couple but we are such good friends that it would be a shame for that to be lost. We are both in our 50’s so aware of this.

So, whilst I am in no rush to get back on the dating scene, I feel that I will in time.
How does it work when you are still friends with an ex?

Neither of us would want to hurt the other. Equally I wouldn’t want to lose our friendship over new partners.

Sorry should have asked, has anyone else managed to do this successfully?

Anyone?

I think it’s possible to stay friends but probably not when new partners come on the scene. It will be a choice you both have to make when that eventually happens.

Sorry I can’t be more help.

I'd say it's possible to remain friends, but not until you've reached a point where it would no longer hurt the other person to see you/them with someone new. Until you've reached that point, there's still too many residual feelings left and it's also not fair to bring a new partner into a dynamic where one or both of you still has feelings beyond friendship remaining.

I agree with Lonely.

I'm still friends with my ex. I'm 50's, he's 60's. We each have our own places, but do share a couple of dogs - he has them for the 2 days I work, I have them when he's at golf. We also holiday together as well as separately.
I have no interest in having another relationship - think I've finally worked out I like my own space and routine.. right now he has no thoughts about another relationship, but if it happens we'll have to have a rethink about the things we continue to do as friends

@Lonelylonelylonely and @Pleasecreateausername13 I agree, we both need time to readjust. I ended the relationship but still love him. I know that will fade in time.

I’d not thought about expecting someone new to be ok with the fact that we would still be friends.
That may never happen, but it is easy to say that now.

@StarbucksQueen that sounds like the ideal to me! I’m glad it works out for you.

I’d hate to lose that side of things, we go to festivals, holiday as a family, all sorts. But I’m not sure if I can compartmentalise my thoughts and feelings. See how it goes over time.