I’m no longer with this partner, so don’t need advice about the relationship, it’s more to help arrange my thoughts as this has popped up in my head a few times recently.
My ex partner used to be really preoccupied with the fact that I had had oral sex with my partner before him and allowed him to ejaculate in my mouth. I hadn’t liked it and therefore did not want to do that with my ex, but he couldn’t get past that I had done it with someone else. I would still give him oral sex, but moved away just before he ejaculated - relying on his indication that that was about to happen. On one occasion, he ejaculated into my mouth anyway, not telling me it was about to happen and ‘slightly’ holding my head there so I couldn’t move - although obviously it was very quick. He then apologised, indicating he couldn’t help himself and didn’t know it was about to happen. I let this go although I felt upset that my boundary had been overridden and remained with him for a few more years. He never did it again, although on reflection I think it was because he’d achieved what he wanted - to ensure that my partner beforehand didn’t do something with me that he didn’t. It keeps popping back into my mind and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I had remained in contact with him over the years (we have children) although never with any intent of reconciling, more as a friend. This thought though makes me feel funny about him and that maybe he’s not the person I pretend his is now. Any thoughts?