Co-parenting / live together - can this work?

[Platonicparents]

Looking for thoughts and suggestions on how to create a healthy co-parenting home where the parents aren’t in an intimate relationship but need to live under the same roof due to both financial situation and for welfare of the children.

On a practical level we have enough bedrooms for everyone to sleep and WFH apart!

Would be great to hear from anyone who has successfully done this?

Backstory to hopefully avoid drip feed: relationship of 12 years, 2 primary aged kids, but the relationship just not working any more, still care about each other but we’ve really grown apart and there is a growing tension due to the pressure to be ‘together’. There has been a low level of ongoing bickering due to various resentments building up and we need to make a change. No terrible abuses, infidelities or serious MH issues. Currently locked into a long mortgage (5y) and due to have renovations carried out next year on the house. We need that to happen in order to increase value for future financial stability.

(Name changed to preserve anonymity).

I have a friend of a friend and her husband who did this successfully until their youngest went to university. They parted as a couple when she was 5.

Latterly her husband met a new partner and a new baby, both of whom
Moved in & the wife had a long term partner.

Remarkably and fo many many peoples surprise. It really really worked and they are all still friends.
Since divorced and both remarried to their parents. Occasionally still go out as a foursome
& nope they're not "sex people"

Just a couple who got married young, fell out of love but genuinely liked and respected each other & prioritised their kids and worked hard to become bloody good friends.

Their house was very big tho & i understand it wouldn't be for everyone.

I think you would need to still be good friends on good terms and both see the importance of staying in the house although 5 years is very long. I think your children might find the set up difficult to explain to their peers

It will work OK till you start dating

then the shit might hit the fan a bit

but what other options are there ?

doesnt sound line it’s really been worked out

also that you are somewhat sacrificing happiness for the kids

but no judgement , life is hard and complicated !

Hi! I'm interested in any updates on your experience.

Hi! I'm interested in any updates on your experience after 3 years into it. Your situation was similar to mine, but in my case DW found someone who turner her world upside down.

It can work. As long as neither party hopes for reconciliation and there is no lingering sexual desire. If there is genuine respect and friendship it’s ideal tbh.

How will either of you feel when the other starts shagging someone else. Thats your answer