I’ve been with the chap for almost seven years. It’s been up and down, and last year I ended things but we got back together.
The last two weeks I’ve been thinking that actually it’s not a great relationship, I don’t get what I need from the relationship but wasn’t sure if I was thinking that way because I’m menopausal and also mental health has taken a dip last few weeks.
Anyway, we have been together today and I knew it’s over. It’s not healthy, we argue, he gaslights, withholds sex, is just generally not my person.
A big reason that I convinced myself to try again last year is because he is my emergency contact, next of kin. And I don’t really have anyone else to have in that role (or that’s what I told myself at the time)
Right now I feel ok, and am actually quite angry at his couldn’t give a shit attitude, he let me leave without even trying to talk me out of it. And that’s ok, I’m not here to play that game. Just his general manner about it all.
I know he is not for me, but in a few hours/days, I may feel differently. Although right now I feel pretty empowered. How can I maintain this?