Hope to get some good advice here.
We married for 24 years. Have 2 very lovely children, 10 and 7 years old. The wife is a good working mother, but not as a wife. She is not affectionate with others especially not with me, but somehow she has full of affection for her children, and kids.
Similar to other couples, we started out with a good relationship, then eventually it gets worst. There were some signs such as the wife has very low sex drive, demanding, and low compassionate, but we found out a bit too late, and we were in love by then.
At first we both wanted to fix things. I try very hard, but the wife did very little, and now she doesn't seem to care anymore.
We haven't try counselling yet, but I don't think it will work because the wife is very stubborn, and won't change. There is a high chance she doesn't even agree to counselling, but I will ask.
I think one of her main problems is not being honest with herself of what she wants. From what I can tell, if I do as what she wants, and let her be in control then everything will be fine. She doesn't think she is a control freak.
I let her do pretty much whatever she wants, but I got feed up so much that I need to find a final resolution. We just got into a stupid fight where I tried to book a vacation, and she jumped in, took it over, and messed it up. I raised my voice on her a little, but no where near the abusive level, and because of that she doesn't talk, and sleep together.
Since we had kids, she let them sleep with us until this day. I explained to her it is not healthy for us, and the kids, but she doesn't care.
I couldn't stand the silence, and told her that I'll leave the house, and let me know how she wants to handle the situation once she cool down. I'm now sleeping in my truck. It's very cold, and very uncomfortable.
I'm mostly the one who have to come up with family activities, and vacations. She rarely comes up with any family activities. She works hard on her job, shops (boy, she loves to shop) cooks, then spends time with the kids. That very much it. I do everything else, and take care the kids when she is not.
When she has free time, she'll just be on her phone. She on her phone in bed every night before she goes to sleep.
Of course no one is perfect, but at least I'm willing to admit my minor problems and fix it. I don't do porn, smoke, drink, or gamble. I have very few friends, and I rarely go out. I mostly go to work, stay home, and spend time with my kids.
With that said, it is worth to spend more time to fix or walk away? Thanks for all the help!