Should I block him?

[rajnbow]

I’m usually against blocking as it seems extreme/OTT if someone isn’t being abusive or nasty - but I was dating a man previously and we have stayed in touch over the past year - we get along brilliantly, have the exact same sense of humour and grew close, but periodically he starts being really full on out of the blue, then we give things a go and see each other a few times, sleep together, then it fizzles out and he starts to suddenly become really busy and irritable towards me.

this has happened more than once, it happened last month when he heard through a mutual friend that I was going on dates and suddenly decided he was interested in me, only to go cold within a few weeks.

I’m done with it - I know if I just delete his number and don’t block him, somewhere down the line he will come crawling back out of the woodwork.

Should I just block and be done with this whole situation, or am I being too hasty by throwing away our friendship?

tia

He is not your friend. Block and forget.

Definitely just block him and move on.

He just wants sex. If you do too, don't block him. If you want more / something different, block him.

Block him either way OP.

Because it's not "just sex", it's the way he weaponises his irritation to control you in his Devalue phase, so he can then Discard.

Before he notices that you are cracking on cheerfully without him, so he reverts to the Idealise phase of the cycle ...

psychopathsinlife.com/idealize-devalue-discard-hoovering-cycle/

What friendship?
Friends don't treat eachother like that.

Just block. Also get past the idea that blocking is cruel. Its not cruel unless there was a mutual emotional attachment. This guy is just a user. So just block and don't think twice about it.

It's not a friendship, he is treating you like a plaything. How many times he can suck you back into a sexual relationship, how many times can he drop you, rinse and repeat.

He's probably largely mirroring you when it comes to the rest of it.

Block him on everything.

@rajnbow

If your done with him you blocking him is for the best.

He just doesn't want you to move on finding someone else. He wants you just to be available for him but he can do whatever.

Don't let yourself be used by him no more when it's only suits him.

You do realise you have the agency to say “thanks but no thanks/not again” if he gets back in touch claiming he wants to give it another go.

After that, if he gets stalkerish or pesty then THAT’s the time to block him.

If you’re not saying no thanks then he’s going to assume you’re okay with it.

I don’t understand why people take blocking as extreme and ott! The block button is there to use to stop unnecessary nonsense such as this op! Of this man coming in and out of your life to make a mockery of you all in the name of friendship. Block and move on. I block everyone and anyone that I want nothing to do with, simple!

He just wants to know he can click his fingers and still have you, he’ll do it again if you meet someone etc. It’s all about his own ego. Block him, show him he’s not that irresistible.

Of course she has the agency to say no, but since she has a soft spot for him and has a 100% record of getting drawn back in, it makes a lot more sense to break the pattern by blocking him. That is also agency, in fact. It's taking control proactively instead of reacting when he inevitably starts sniffing round again.