AIBU

[newmamax]

Okay so..
A while back now I was seeing this guy on and off for about 4 years. We've lived together, gone on holiday all sorts.

It came to the point where it was just unhealthy and we needed to be apart from one another. Which meant no contact at all.

In this time I had a baby( single mum) and he got into a relationship, she unfortunately unalived herself literally a few days after I had my child.

Shortly after this he added me back on social media and eventually messaged me.

He spoke about his situation and I spoke about mine.

Long story short he wants to try again.

Bare in mind it has only been 6 months since she did what she did so in my opinion it is still very raw and more healing is needed before he moves on.

Now I completely understand grief works in different ways for everyone.

But am I being unreasonable to think it's weird for him to be tell me one thing such as he always knew he just needed time away from me when getting into this new relationship etc

But then posting her with captions such as ' my soulmate, love you endlessly, till we meet again etc)

I've asked him if he needs more time and he swears he's fine to move on.

I just don't want to be some kind of rebound mechanism for him.

I hope this doesn't make me sound awful.

Unalived herself? Is that a new way of saying she died by suicide? Every day is a school day on Mumsnet!

Theres a reason your relationship was ‘unhealthy’ the first time around, probably worth remembering what that was. Don’t re-start a romantic relationship with him now, focus on your 6 month old and if the relationship is meant to be, think about it again in another 6 months.

I’m not really sure what I’ve just read. OP, I think you know the answer to this. Tomorrow is a school day.

C'mon catch yourself on. Nothing good will come of this.

Lol yeah so I've seen,
& well this is what I thought, I'm in no way ready for any type of relationship hence why I'm not out looking for anything. This came to me which is why I questioned it.

YABU for using the term "unaliving herself"

Rather, YABU for using the term "unalived herself"
The relationship won't work.

My dear, the world we live in has become very sensitive. I've noticed on a fair few socials that people prefer certain terms to be changed as it can be a bit triggering.

Someone committing suicide is very different to the relationship not working out.

Thanks for your comment though

It was on off for years before you realised it was unhealthy and went no contact.

Add being a single mum and an "unaliving" throwing some big changes and grief into the mix and should you try again?

Why would you?

I've asked him if he needs more time and he swears he's fine to move on

And I swear I've got 6 legs and came from Mars. Do you believe me, despite the fact that you've several reasons to assume otherwise?

There's quite a lot to unpack there, but in short - why was the relationship unhealthy before? Do you have any reason to think it would be different now?
Him going through grief and you having a 6 month old will only make things harder – honestly I think you need to block and move on

Getting off the point but I think "unalive" has come from things like Tiktok that automatically block works like kill, death and suicide