Help!

[Cassie501]

I’m going to try and keep this short but I really need some advice please.
My ex fiancé broke up with me 7 months ago because he didn’t know what he wanted. We were together 7 years and engaged for 4. He has had doubts 5 times before but never as permanent as this. We’re still living together trying to sell the house but no such luck as of yet.
He's now all of a sudden had a realisation 7 months down the line that he’s made a mistake - he loves me, wants to marry me and have a family - he promises he won’t change his mind again. There was also a history of him talking to other girls , following random girls on social media and liking their pictures. Even though he knew this made me uncomfortable- it all added fuel to the fire.

Now around 3 weeks ago I met someone else - kind , caring , funny and loves everything about me. He makes me feel special.
Despite all this I can’t help wonder if I’m making a mistake not giving my ex another chance …. I have to keep reminding myself of all the nasty stuff he’s said to keep strong and I know living together isn’t helping but he seems so genuine. Saying he’ll do anything to prove to me it’s different.

I feel like I’m going mad ….. not knowing the right way to go and I just need some perspective please.

Has he only changed his mind since the new guy came along?

Personally I'd say "too little, too late".

However I'd also be wary of the new guy apparently loving everything about you after 3 weeks. He doesn't even know you (nor you him)

What a coincidence that he should suddenly change his mind and want to try again just at the very moment you find someone else.

Hmm, personally (as I've seen this before), he's not worth it.

I think he was always a bit of a player, flirted (and maybe even cheated) with other girls and then thought he could do better... he then lived the single life and realised he actually had a good thing with you.

Guys can be right dicks. I know, I probably was one! You're with a girl she's amazing, but that call to have fun and sleep around is there... the challenge, the variety... so you break up with someone amazing because you can't see it, you DO sleep around, and then you realise that sex doesn't fill that void... only the love of the women you lost will.

Sucks to be him. Move on. He'll live his life wondering what might have been and you'll find someone that sees your true worth.

Seven years together and he’s changed his mind six times so far. He follows other women and is nasty to you. If you ever get as far as marrying him, who knows if he’ll even stay long enough to start a family.

OP, is he worth such a gamble?

There's one of these in my life. He ended it 20 years ago. I've never taken him back, though he'd like that. Too many issues then, even more now.

Please walk away from this person and give yourself a chance to be happy, be that with someone else or alone.

This person has told you and shown you that he cannot sustain the kind of relationship that works for marriage and babies. Walk away.

OP, he's been in a 'relationship' with you for & bloody years !
You were 'engaged' for 4 years !

Your Ex has had the best part of a decade to 'decide' that he wanted you and only you ! And he didn't ! He repeatedly treated you like shit !

The only mistake you could make right now is in choosing a proven failure of a 'man' over your new one !!

No move on, you'll just end up being a doormat, also seeing as hes got a shady past of talking to other women, he won't change. Aim higher than him, hopefully it works out with the new guy for you.

Fuck him op. Having doubts once in a blue moon can be slightly forgiveable but multiple times in only 7 years is surely too much. You'll always be on edge waiting for his next realisation. Plus the history of following other girls etc. He has had his chance (multiple times) with you, and now probably doesn't actually want to face the realisation of the upheaval of splitting, but for your future happiness and mental health, you need to let him go. Don't just stay because it's comfortable, as in the long run, he's never going to make you feel special and "the one" is he. If you stay together and have kids, then he decides he's not happy again, then you're stuck with him in your life forever. Let him go, and find someone who doesn't doubt you're the love of their life. X

“OP, he's been in a 'relationship' with you for & bloody years !
You were 'engaged' for 4 years !

Your Ex has had the best part of a decade to 'decide' that he wanted you and only you ! And he didn't ! He repeatedly treated you like shit !

The only mistake you could make right now is in choosing a proven failure of a 'man' over your new one !!”

This. Your ex is not the man for you. This new guy might not be either.

But anyway you would be better off single than with your ex who has shown repeatedly that he doesn’t love you enough and can’t be trusted.