Cheating Narcissistic Husband

[Nelly10]

Found out my husband cheating several woman several years some weeks ago. Chucked out, divorce filed. Been together 20 year, 2 kids. How can someone you have been with for this long, become so cold, calculating, dismissive and vile? Hasn’t even told me the truth, total utter denial and no remorse?
Still posting on social media with absolutely no shame ? What is wrong with these men? Very confused.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I don't know why they feel no shame, I suppose its all about their image?

Oh wow you have just described my ex, I literally cannot comprehend these people, the lack of empathy form them is outstanding. Advice is to become cold towards them, emotionally detach as much as possible and power through the divorce

i was a confident strong woman before the relationship and left as a shadow of my former self and very poorly physically and mentally

it’s taken 2 years to get a divorce and he’s with the woman he has claimed all along was just a friend

but trust in karma also

The change in their personality leaves you for ages trying to work them out

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Would it be ok if I DMd you?

Because he is wounded now with no obedient wife at home serving him.

You dared to not put up with his god complex. Well done. Stay strong.

Some people just lack something fundamental in them op.

You've probably seen other signs of it throughout the years. Unfortunately many women wait until he cheats to finally decide enough is enough.

It's horrible, isn't it, the personality change.

Really distressing and perplexing and then you understand it all once the ow emerges from the woodwork.

You see, by being vile and toxic and provoking rows, they can justify their skanky affair in their heads because you are clearly an awful person.

It's so manipulative and bewildering. It is abuse. Psychological abuse pure and simple. Don't underestimate how it will have affected you.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you are free very soon.

yes that would be fine x

Yes that would be fine x

Don't try to make sense of the insane, it will only drive you crazy, just know its not you.

Thanks for the replies I would be lying if I said the last 8 months hadn’t been difficult. It’s hard to see a way through some days especially when you see the continuing impact of this on your kids and wider family not forgetting myself. However I now realise the full extent of who he actually was and feel so thankful I got out whilst I’m still relatively young, it’s quite scary to think I was hoodwinked all of them years. One foot in front of the other each day x

Thanks yes I had a counselor who said the exact same thing!

Op I was you 20 years ago. Had been with him 19 years married with 2 small kids. Narcissist cheater who was vile to his kids. What I found hard to come to terms with (I still do) is realising what a bad judge of character I was.

Yes that’s very true, I really thought I was a good judge of character too!

I hope you managed to move on with your life well x

Thank you so much Nelly10. I found a fabulous dh, incredible stepdad to my kids.. but I know they still both have issues due to their dad's behaviour.

It's hard to contemplate now, but you will learn to live with the realisation of what he is and next time will be equipped to make a far better choice x

That’s an amazing outcome, and gives me hope for the future x