Got the ick. Want to leave

[NewStartStartsNow22]

As the title says.
Been with my partner for 3 years, lived with him for a year and a half. Both mid 50s. I moved in after selling my house after being divorced for some time.

I moved in with him while we in lockdown and we settled into a comfortable lockdown routine, which was great. But since lockdown was lifted we have stayed the same, doing very little and I now completely bored.
He doesn't want to do the things I want to do - he spends literally hours scrolling on Face Book, lying horizonal on the sofa. When I get in from work he's usually lying on the bed (finishes work much earlier than me), then he comes downstairs and lies on the sofa. It is driving mad to the point I can barely look at him and finding things to delay going home.

My plan is to move out and I am actively looking at rental properties. I have my house money in the bank but buying will be be too slow.

So my question is - how do I tell him? Do I get the property organised so I can tell him and leave right away, or do I tell him now and have the prospect of a few days of awkwardness.
He's a lovely man, kind and caring. He adores me and he will be devastated. He often says he worries I will leave him, which adds to the pressure I am feeling.
The last thing I want to do is hurt him and I want to be as kind as I can. I just can't go on like this. I have outgrown the relationship and need to think about Me first.

Any words of advice would be gratefully received.

Just leave, life is too short. If you have made up your mind whatever way you do it won't be pleasant but if you find a place first it will be quicker. Well done for being brave enough to do it.

Have you got friends or family that you could stay with temporarily until you secure a rental? I would want to have alternate accommodation arranged before I told him.

Have you spoke to him about this? About what annoys you? Because saying he's a kind man who adores you and then in the next breath saying he's boring and you're going to leave just doesn't add up to me.
If you've ever actually had feelings for the man, doesn't he deserve a little respect before you just leave his life completely because he likes to be lazy?

If you want to leave him because you don't have those feelings for him anymore, then be honest about it. But don't blame his behaviours when they could be easily rectifiable.

What is it that you actually want him to do?
Is it too late to discuss it with him?
He says he is afraid to lose you but doesn't make any effort not to.
I think you should talk it over with him now so he at least has a chance to change things unless you are beyond that stage already.

You're very right to leave. DH has become horribly lazy since turning 50, and our evenings now consist of him either asleep in the chair, or sprawled across the sofa watching mindless drivel on TV. And he spends hours scrawling through FB - it's just plain weird.

He's showing you what your future will be, especially retirement. But I'd sort somewhere out first so you can tell him then leave.

I ended a relation almost exactly because of this - got together during covid and did a lot of staying in doing a whole lot of nothing.

Covid over, and the whole lot of nothing was pretty much all that seemed to be on offer... I ended it and spent my time on my hobbies and interests, and started looking again.

To previous posters who asked, yes I have talked about what is making me unhappy, 2 or 3 times now, but nothing has changed.

Yes he is a lovely man. Initially we were good together. Now he is just waiting to retire and doesn't want to do anything other than go out for an occasional walk. I couldn't even get him to come to a free outdoor event in a nearby city recently. He didn't fancy the going to the fireworks display on Saturday night. If we go on a long drive, we literally sit in silence because he likes to drive quietly and watch the scenery go by.

So I'm getting the feeling I need to get my ducks in a row and sit him down and tell him I just can't go on any longer and I want out.

Oh gosh, this sounds like my last relationship. It was fine at the beginning but soon descended into domestic routine hell. He was always tired and scrolling through social media and I felt ignored. What it really boiled down to was I have more ambition and drive and he was comfortable doing not very much to improve his lot. If your vales are different, things will never change. You only have one life and you have many dreams still to realise in your 50s.
Also, things like dementia and heart issues start creeping up in your 50s if you're not active enough. Any shuffling feet or falling asleep on the sofa? Be careful. You may end up with a bigger early burden than you anticipated.