He’s great but so keen

[Samibgton]

Seeing a new guy, it’s been about 8 weeks and we’re seeing each other 2-3 times a week. It’s going well and he’s a great person, I like him, like spending time with him etc.

i do fancy him but more than that he’s shown signs of being an amazing partner so I’d like to see where we go. He’s thoughtful, kind, switched on, very family orientated. All the great stuff and all this is making me like him even more.

a couple of things I’m not sure about. The sex is still quite awkward (but it’s early days snd he’s attentive as am I si assuming we will find our rhythm?)

he also seems to be very all in. He told me he loved me twice when we last met (!!) and I’m definitely not there yet so responded with I really like you. He’s stopped now, I think he’s realised it’s too early for me. Whenever we cuddle or are sat together privately, he’ll absolutely shower me with compliments (you’re pretty, you’re smart etc) which is so lovely but it’s a lot! I did make a joke saying he’ll make my head big and he’s cut down a bit.

is this love bombing? Would anyone find it a bit much?

he has a hilarious sense of humour and he’s very sharp so we can both be quite dry with each other which I really like (as in teasing and not taking things too seriously). It’s just the mushy stuff that is making me feel a bit nervous, it seems too much too soon.

can anyone advise?

They haven’t said it to each other though ……

For the few who said it after 5 mins and it became something more lifelong there will be hundreds for whom it didn't amount to anything life long. It's impossible to know, predict and vase on others' experiences.

I wouldn't say that saying "I love you" after two months is a red flag. It is a red flag though when combined with other words and behaviours such as "you're going out with your friends AGAIN?", "I don't know what I'd do if you left me", texting and calling behaviour when he knows you're with other people.

To me he sounds very, very into you. Sex isn't always absolutely amazing when you first get together. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it takes time for you both to feel comfortable with that level of intimacy. As long as the sex is just slightly awkward and not uncomfortable, i think that's okay.

@Whiskeypowers I know that but my point is that I don't think it's a red flag because it's absolutely fine to feel like you love someone after only a few weeks. She's not there yet but it's okay that he is.

I would proceed with caution, like others have said. What would his reaction be if you went from seeing him 3 times a week to 2 times a week? Do you feel he considers your needs, preferences and opinions and treats you equally? Or does it feel too full on and clingy or guilt/obligation inducing? Have you asked yourself these questions? Are you caught up by the infatuation and feelings that being complimented creates?

Do not stop using condoms, it’s too much of a risk of STDs and the pill isn’t foolproof either. I would say his reaction to you showing reluctance to stop using them will be interesting.

A lot of that would give me the ick tbf.

Him saying I love you isn’t a red flag however the fact that what he’s doing makes you feel uncomfortable, is a red flag in my opinion.