How would you describe this?

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I'm trying to help a friend who may be, in my view, experiencing seemingly low level - at first sight trivial even - mental pressure from her partner. There's no shouting, nothing physical or terribly obvious (so she tells me) but after a couple of drinks at the weekend she confided in me that her partner has become a bit fixated about the care of their dog.

At first it sounds a bit silly, but the more she told me and the more I could see it was affecting her I became a bit concerned that it is indicative of a pattern of behaviour.

Apparently he makes a really big deal of how far he walks the dog how tired the dog is after the walk, and so on. All a bit "aren't I the hero". He then questions her about when and where she has walked the dog. Not aggressively, but it sounds all a bit point scoring and not just part of "normal" conversation as he makes such a big deal about how far he has gone every time. She says so far she has tried to just deflect it to play down what he seems to work up into something of a competition.

She's pretty level headed and no pushover but the fact she felt the need to tell me just pricked my ears up and although I tried to reassure her that it's probably just small talk and so on, I've been thinking about it a lot since Saturday. For context they've been together 20 years, have teenage children and have had a dog for 15 of those years. It sounds like this behaviour is relatively recent so perhaps she and I have got things out of perspective but I've got nagging doubts that this may be the start of an increasing level of control or similar pressure coming to bear on her. She's a great friend and as she has confided in me I want to take her worries seriously to support her as it's unlike her to be like this.

Am I / are we over analysing? Possibly but welcome any thoughts on this.

She's not on Mumsnet so no identifying factors at play here and I've rejoined after several years absence to post this. Thank you

I think the dog knows exactly what it's doing. It is clearly playing them off against each other. I bet it even picks and chooses who it sits next to longer on the sofa in the evenings just to cause arguments too, doesn't it? I'm right, aren't I?

How weird , any reason why they don't walk the dog together ? Has he nothing else to talk about ?

My STBXH is a competitive dog walker and always tells me how far he’s been, so I know how irritating this can be. It is surprising how much time is taken out of the day when they go for a long walk, and need a sleep after, and I’m not talking about the dog!

But he’s always been like this, if he goes for a run, does any diy work etc. he just has to tell everyone. He has a need for everyone to admire him, and think he’s wonderful.

I just let it go over my head. I’m not competitive so it’s reasonably easy. He was like this with our child and always wanted to be seen as the better parent.

It is just one of many reasons that I now want to live alone.

Is your friends husband like this in other areas? Has he only just started the long walks, is it part of a fitness drive for him? How old is the dog, if its 15 yrs, this may not be good for it.

Some people are just super competitive, it’s does get annoying. It only gets controlling if he tells her how far she must walk the dog.

I think work commitments. They vary WFH days and school runs etc so I don't think it's odd that they walk separately/ just whoever is around on the given day.

Thanks for feedback - unsure if he's like that much in other ways though there's hints of things from time to time (hard to know as outsider) and funnily enough she did say he's handy around the house, does pull his weight and fix things etc but does almost seek reward for fixing a tap or sticking door or something!! So her view is "I do most of the shopping and the laundry and I don't expect anyone to go "wow, that's terrific". It's just what she does (she can't fix the sticking door!). Although I've know them their whole time together she's not raised stuff like this before. BTW it's a young dog - just they've had a dog for 15 or so years.... he can be quite tough on his kids, I've seen a bit of that, don't know if it amounts to control or just his style of parenting .... appreciate you taking the time to respond.