He said he lost sexual attraction to me -why is he back?

[user711]

I was with my ex for 3 years. Great friendship. Amazing chemistry.

Few months ago he broke up with me claiming he wasn't sexually attracted to me anymore. I was gutted. For the last few months of our relationship, sex wasn't great as I think he was having a few "problems" in bed which he was embarrassed about. I told him it was okay these things happen.

He then broke up with me but maintained he wanted to be friends. He meant it.

However, my heartbreak sooned turned to anger and it allowed me to move forward. I started replying to him less and less, messages were more matter-of-fact, I didn't make jokes or respond to them anymore. Some days I wouldn't even respond to him until he then sent more messages.

Now he says he wants me back. Why? Is it the chase? Is it wanting what he can't have? When we broke up he was adamant it was done forever.

Men who aren't getting sex elsewhere always come back. Why? Well to be blunt to get the sex they aren't getting elsewhere.

Sexual attraction ebs & flows over the course of a relationship. Respectful couples discuss it, try restore it and don't make snap final decisions.

Are you really going to allow him the opportunity to tell you a second time he doesn't find you sexually attractive? Because he will, when the next woman he thinks he has a chance with comes along.

Aaaaw. He wanted you to be to blame for his suddenly & mysteriously not fancying you any more - despite fancying you just fine for 2 or 3 years.

He wanted to split, you accepted it.
He wanted to stay friends, so you did (probably to your detriment. Why would you want to be friends with someone who dumped you so cruelly?)
Now he wants to weasel his way back in.

It's all - all of it - about WHAT HE WANTS.
Have another read of Watchkey's post, & start doing what YOU want.

He is Hoovering you because you became more distant. He is used to you doing exactly what HE WANTS & is outraged that you are not still acting as his back-up plan.
lonerwolf.com/hoovering/

He reckons he has negged you sufficiently for you to be grateful he wants to be with you again. Do not accept his latest wants. He will treat you poorly again. He will control you by making your entire relationship about whether he fancies you enough, & how you are so lacking that poor little him simply might have to leave you again. You will be an a knife-edge, waiting for him to inform you that he is dumping you again, & blaming you for it. You will be constantly worrying about your own attractiveness. This will kill your self-esteem.

That's a really nasty, damaging dynamic isn't it OP?
Why would you want to be anywhere near a man who would want to inflict that dynamic on you?
Tell him to piss off, & block him. He does not deserve to be your friend.