I'm pretty sure my friend is dead

[Iwanttogo]

So I made a friend on a social media platform and we got chatting on discord (FB messanger but for gamers) about games and random stuff. We've been friends for a while now and talk maybe every 2-3 days between work and me having a young family.

I became very close to them, they are like an older sibling to me and put up with my nonsense alot of the time. However recently they've been acting strange vanishing for longer than usual. Fine, life is busy.

But a week ago now, they had a brake down on me. Mentioned wanting to die vanishing ect. How they could just move on be free the lot and I tried to be there as much as I could, dispite being in a different country. Held their hand virtually. And now they are just gone.

I know a week is to long to be thinking, I think they are dead. They could just be working or busy or just don't want to talk to me anymore. But after what happened Im very concerned and confused. The wanting to die, vanishing. I don't know their last name. I dont even know if alot of what they've said about themselves is true. I'm not nieve, the Internet is a place where people can fully hide who they are after all.

But I just have a horrible feeling after exploding on me about how much they want to be free, how they want to die ect. That maybe they went and did it?

This is how I found out about a friend of mine who had killed himself. It was heartbreaking but I'd not heard from him, I knew both his names and had met him in person which is how we became friends.

I put his name in and the state and the article came up.

I would try searching. First name, town, and click on news, then throw in some key words like suicide or death.

Is there anyone else from any of the platforms who also knew them who you could contact?

What about facebook groups you were both part of? You could ask in there or ask on Discord (if that's how Discord works)

I’ve made lots of friends online but I always check them out in the real world - social media, LinkedIn etc to make sure they’re real

Unfortunately this is the thing with long distant online friendships/relationships. They can just vanish. And you’ll have no idea why.

• Death.
• Prison.
• Illness.
• Vacation.
• Or just simply wanting to come offline and experience the physical world.

It will be really sad if they have passed, I do hope they have friends and family in real life. But there’s not really much you can do OP, other then a few Google searches or just hope they do come back online or contact you one day.

It's no problem. I hope I didn't come across as too harsh as I know (again, personally - to elaborate I ended up held in another country against my will for a couple of months with a very volatile and abusive person I met through Discord) how easy it is to be drawn in by people on Discord, or anywhere online really.

You want to believe people you spend every day talking to and bonding with by playing games online are genuine and you want to believe you have a true friend in them, especially when they seem to share extremely deep and personal things with you. There are a lot of incredibly lonely and isolated people in the world and Discord can be an extremely valuable place for those who find it difficult to socialise in real life for whatever reason. However, where there is a place like that to benefit vulnerable people there will be predators who unfortunately take advantage of that.

Do you know the names of any of her family members? You could see if they are on Facebook and have posted anything.

I get how worrying it can be when someone goes off the radar like that. Years ago I ran a large forum which had core of 200 or so regular posters and maybe a 50 who would post every day. There was one member who was very active who posted a fair bit about her personal life in the social area of the forum. Then she started to message some of us with messages that concerned us about her physical and mental health and posting on the forum about hospital stays and the like. Then I had a message saying that she wanted to end it all and there were no messages, public or private, for two days. No response to anyone who tried to contact her. She had previously posted links to an organisation where she volunteered, she posted links to the website and names of people there.

After two days of her not acknowledging any messages the admins agreed we should try and contact the organisation. So I phoned them. They had no record of her, knew nothing about her but offered to call round and visit her to see if all was well. I'm sure you can guess - she was absolutely fine, full of apologies and explaining that it was some sort of mix up and she was a volunteer in a different place and we must have got it wrong! She came back to the forum to explain that there had been some sort of mix up in communication and we never heard from her again!

I felt foolish for contacting anyone but with the level of detail she had posted in a public forum I think it would have been negligent not to make some enquiries given that she posted to say that she was going to end it all and we would not hear from her again.

I hope you can get closure in some way.

So true! More than twice the size of Scotland but with a population smaller than London. Lots of empty space. One of the best things about our state.

Curious if you live here too?

It usually takes a long time between someone talking about taking their life and the actual suicide. Sorry you have such a worry in a situation where you couldnt have and cant do anything. Hopefully your friend reappears at some point. If they are actually dead it could be a better place for them to be, however weird that reads. Be kind to yourself, its not an easy thing to have on your mind.

Maybe they have talked in real life, and feel embarrassed talking online like that. Maybe they are sorting out their life for the better.

Espionage related.?

What in anything the OP has posted would make you think that?

Only a terrible spy would create an online presence and a dramatic disappearance like thar...

Because the Op is Rishi Sunak

What happens when you phone that number now?

@Iwanttogo haven’t you posted this before?

i think you've been catfished

@Porkchops22 it was over discord

@Suzi88

@Suzi888 ill say the same thing I said to another person who tried to make out I was a troll. I have also posted this on R eddit.
If you think I'm a troll feel free to surch my name up. I'm sure I'm not the only person out there concerned about a friend I made on like who's vanished.

I think it’s more likely they’ve just moved on to do something else - this is a lot more likely than them being dead, and it doesn’t sound especially scam like.

It’s kind that you are concerned but really I would assume they are fine, wish them well and let them go from your life.

I agree with others that it’s unlikely that she’s dead, even though the OP feels certain about it. For me, as someone who lives in WA, the line about not being able to afford mental health help was the biggest giveaway. It’s simply not true. We have 211 here for help with mental health and there is no cost, as I mentioned earlier, for healthcare for mental health matters. Every adult knows this here.

So, either the person isn’t even here in WA. Or they are and they have been using the OP for attention. Or it’s a very young person who still lives with their parents and the parents have discovered she’s been online playing games when she should have been doing her homework or something and they’ve removed the device or restricted the Internet access. All of the above are far more plausible than a death. To bad you don’t know the last name or you could look up the death records with WA DOH for 25 bucks. Then you’d know for sure.

Depends if they were after specific intelligence or they needed the friendship as part of the cover storie, ect

I was coming on to.say watch some episodes of catfish but i was beaten to it. it may be a simple case of ghosting to break the cycle of talking every few days.

This 'friend' will be back at some point, I'd bet money on it.

If you spoke on the phone, do you have their home number?

You never know the truth when your chatting to someone online.

Whatever happened try move on.

They might be doing this as a way of cutting you off. What they tell you could be lies too to gain sympathy.
Maybe they in a relationship and it's going well now and have no need to talk to you.

It's a gentle let me let them down easy tell I am having a breakdown and then disappeared without a trace.

You could of been Catfished who knows.