Ok so this is the last straw isn't it ?

[huniimhome]

Following on from a previous thread. Living with an emotionally abusive and controlling man. Yesterday during a very heated argument he grabbed me by the hair and screamed and shouted in my face WHILST I was breastfeeding our son. I'm out I'm literally checked out of this marriage now. I just don't know how or where I'm gona go or when.
I'm on maternity leave, have no savings, I have family but don't wish to ask for their help.
I'm thinking of going back to work early to save up a little. But please can experienced ppl tell me how I'm going to move on with my life. He is going to make it very difficult I know.
Fwiw the house is in both our names but he pays all bills and mortgage.

You need to speak to Woman’s Aid, or if you feel able to call the police.

What you’ve described is extremely worrying, you need to get to safety immediately.

Please do speak to your family. Don't let pride stop you from getting your baby out of a dangerous household.

Start by reporting him to the police. Even if you hadn't been breastfeeding your, and his, child, it would be worth reporting.
Tell everyone close to you, don't be embarrassed, you did not deserve this.

Why don’t you want to ask your family for help? Do you have a good relationship with them?

Please make sure you and your baby are safe, if that means swallowing your pride to ask for help please do.

That's disgusting behaviour I'm sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't bother even saving to move out speak to women's aid. My sister did and stayed in a place even I wasn't allowed to know for her protection. She eventually was housed with her children. It's scary and a big upheaval but you will be safe and wouldn't have to worry about being in that awful position again. You deserve better than that x

Call womens aid
this will trigger a SS investigation
be brutally honest and tell them exactly what happened

getting SS involved will get him to calm the hell down
next time he does this call police

then yes get back to work
start saving
get a Soliciter

is this easy no

but necessary

1, Police - that's assault and he's unhinged
2.Woman's aid
3.Your family

OP, I would report that to police and contact Women’s Aid. You need to get away from this violent man. Best of luck.

Police, now love. This isn't someone you can afford to stay around. He assaulted you. He commuted a crime. He is a danger to you and your baby.

Call women aid they will help and get help from council.

Yes, Police. Good luck

please seek your families help. You need to protect yourself and your child. Your child could get hurt, he’s clearly not worried about hurting you when your child is on you. Longer term you can sort yourself out but any family would be more than willing to help, to want to help. Speak to women’s aid, there will be help for you to pay bills etc if you’re set up in your own place

I’m sorry you are doing threw this. I’ve lived this and I’m going to be brutal with you. It gets worse. if you don’t leave he will see he can put his hands on you and you won’t leave. It will escalate. But it’s not that easy is it ? You love him , he will promise you it won’t happen again, your family might not be great (mine weren’t), you don’t know if you can do it alone … the list is endless with reasons why you can’t go.
and you know what it’s NOT as easy as some posters make out , BUT you can do it. You can make a safe life for you and your children to live safely and not treading on egg shells waiting for the next time. And I promise you the tears , the not knowing the anxiety are all bloody worth it.
ring woman’s aid.
ring refuge.
ring your local council.
speak to a friend TODAY.
don’t give him time to worm his way back into your mind and make you doubt yourself.
Please please don’t be like me and spend years of your life hoping it will get better.
Your children won’t thank you for it & you are worth so much more x

You need to get away from him as quickly as you safely can. He is a danger to you and to your baby.

This is the person who's meant to love you both more than anything in the world.

If a stranger in the street did what he did, what would you do? You'd report them to the police immediately. You'd never want to see that person again. Well, this is the man who's meant to love you - it's much more shocking and much more dangerous.

pp advice is good - please don't be too proud to ask your family for help. Your baby's safety, and yours, are more important than any pride, or embarrasement, or family disagreements. The exception to that would be if your family is abusive, in which case I understand. Do you have a friend you can talk to in that case?

Either way, talk to Police and Womens Aid as soon as you safely can.

I'd be absolutely gutted if a member of my family didn't ask for my help under these circumstances. Is there a good reason why you won't reach out to them OP? Your safety and the safety of your baby is the priority here. Make sure you report him to the police and have it on record, you may need it when negotiating access to your child.

Where was your other child when this happened? What is he like with them?

Please speak to someone close to you and get out of there. You can't wait to start work, to get a payday, til you've got savings it's not safe for you but also for your baby. You are both in danger.

Please leave him.
Please ask family or friends for help
Or find help in the community
This is nut how you should be living your life.

Police - get him removed whilst you sort of finances etc.

Woman's aid

Family