He’s disappeared after third date

[Datinglifesucksbigtime]

Mixed signals - hate them!

I guess I am struggling to get my head around how you can have such an amazing date - fireworks - and the guy disappears?

I am new to online dating and I know I need a thick skin because people come and back, and men stand you up, leave you hanging, ghost etc.

I am quite hurt by this one. 😢

Bump

I’m sorry OP.

I had a really odd but good explanation for this when I was stood up for a date (never buy the cinema tickets in advance!)

These kind of guys were described to me as fishermen. They come along to the lake and they scatter food to attract the fish to the surface. They do this repeatedly over many days and the fish become accustomed to them and don’t fear them. Then when the fisherman is hungry he whacks an unsuspecting fish.

It’s tough and I honestly don’t have an answer for dealing with it, other find someone sympathetic to have a moan too and then chin up and forget. Also
don’t let anyone sell you the urban myth either that something happened, like a bird stole his phone, and he would text if he could. (All esier said than done, but can guarantee he’s not dwelling on it.)

Anyway ultimately for me OLD was not the way to go, I was bad at picking them so I gathered up
my courage and ventured into real world dating and did much better.

It's not a mixed signal though.

A man will tell you in words he's interested so he can keep you around as a backup and/or get sex or admiration from you

And at the same time tell you with his actions that he's not interested because.... well because he isn't.

It's not mixed, they never are, they are always 100% clear, the key is to listen to actions and completely ignore words.

I agree it's not mixed signals, sorry. When a guy wants you he'll make it happen..

I know it's so hurtful when it feels like it's gone so well and you start to imagine /hope. Someone described it to me like a venn diagram. After 3 dates you've got a lovely coloured-in area of overlap with each other. The thing is that you have no way of knowing how much of his circle is in that overlap. Nor what's in the rest of his circle that he already believes won't overlap with yours. One, unfortunately, how many other circles he's trying out.

All you can do is focus on all the other things you want for yourself. Get busy.