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Original poster

To leave it not to leave

6 replies

MumWifeNurse · 05/11/2022 20:32

Advice is needed.

I have been with DH for 9 years, we have been married for 4 years and our DD is 3.

DH can be lazy and we have had many a conversation about how him not doing his part of the house work is really getting to me. We have lived together for 7 years and I can count on one hand how many times he has cleaned the bathroom and hoovered and I don't think he has actually ever done it off his own back.

He also doesn't have hobbies and works from home - opposite to me. He just doesn't have any get up and go.

Since having our DD my feelings towards him have changed. He is clearly more in love with me than I am with him.

I feel like my life and mental Health would so much better if I was on my own. I feel that if I was on my own I would just be able to get on with stuff and not think oh I wonder if DH will do it.

I find myself looking at what I can afford if I was on my own. I do feel my mind is already made up but because he is not a horrible person to my or DD or anyone really, it makes this decision very hard.

Has anyone else been in a similar position? If so did you stay or go?

Do feel fall out of love with their DH after children?

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 05/11/2022 22:51

People in healthy relationships don't ask this question, so the fact you're even asking diagnoses the relationship as being over.

It doesn't matter if he hoovers. You don't have to justify the fact that you're not in love with him, any more than it would make sense to justify the fact that you did love him by the fact that he hoovered a lot.

You're allowed to fall out of love and leave, without proving him to be 'in the wrong' somehow.

Quiegal · 06/11/2022 02:13

Are you suffering from PND? It can be up to 5yrs.

It's worth talking to a therapist. I think if you make him go you will regret it.

NoodleSoup12 · 06/11/2022 02:20

Watchkeys · 05/11/2022 22:51

People in healthy relationships don't ask this question, so the fact you're even asking diagnoses the relationship as being over.

It doesn't matter if he hoovers. You don't have to justify the fact that you're not in love with him, any more than it would make sense to justify the fact that you did love him by the fact that he hoovered a lot.

You're allowed to fall out of love and leave, without proving him to be 'in the wrong' somehow.

THIS. I was going to say:

You don’t have to be really unhappy, you just have to be not happy.

Fraaahnces · 06/11/2022 02:30

Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind. I think it would be much easier to be a single mum of one child than a single mum of one child and a man child. Your home would be a lot less chaotic.

ImpossibleGirl · 06/11/2022 02:48

www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

You can leave a relationship for any reason you choose. They can also leave for any reason they choose as well.

KangarooKenny · 06/11/2022 06:45

If he did the things you wanted him to, without asking, would you feel differently about him ?

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