When me and my husband are getting on, life is good. When we're not though, I hate being with him.
Today is an example. I think he's hungover as he drunk a whole bottle of wine last night and he looks it. This morning while out I called my mum and she just wasn't hearing me (won't get a hearing test) so I had to raise my voice.
In the car he told me I had embarrassed him. I got upset and quiet and then he proceeded to go on and on about me "screaming and shouting". In the end he provoked me too much by saying things like "I won't be gaslit by you, I didn't call you an embarrassment" and I eventually broke and screamed with frustration at the top of my voice.
This is the pattern, he says something that upsets me (usually when he's stressed or upset or hungover I've found), I get upset and try to calmly explain why I'm upset, he denies ever saying it and then brings out the comment about not being "gaslit" by me. This drives me insane, I can't cope. I think I get so upset because I feel he's trying to make himself the victim when I'm the one who's been upset by him?
He eventually apologised properly (not "sorry you felt I said that") but he's started the same pattern again tonight.
I'm honestly considering a hotel tonight,I just want to get away. But am I being unreasonable? I know I shouldn't shout but he just goes on and on and the injustice of what he's saying makes me explode.