Wife says nasty things and gets upset if I say anything back

[confusedinlondon]

My wife has a habit of saying hurtful things to me or things without thinking.
3 nights ago I was due to give my daughter some medicine, i give her her medicine twice a day, I dozed of and gave her medicine about 30 mins later than normal. My wife became enraged and accused me of not carrying about our daughter.
this wasn't the first time she has said this. She has accused me several times about not caring about our children in the past. Its completely false. If I don't do anything she wants me tondo in relation to the kids she'll accused me of not caring. My son wanted £80 shoes and when I said no she accused me of being tight with money and not caring.
In the morning I was still angry with her and told her she was out of order the night before. I spoke to her rudely I'll admit. A few hours later I apologised to her. Since then she has still be giving me the silent treatment, crying and ignoring me.
I don't know what to do. I know I was wrong but it seems she can say and do whatever and I am not allowed to say a thing.

I had the same situation. Partner suffered from depression and stress and used me as an emotional punchbag for years. If I argued back I was the one who couldn't take it. If I was right they then launched personal attacks on me. They had a lot of pressure in their life but of course it was my fault as I wasn't supportive enough or couldn't financially support us all on one income. It all ended badly and no longer together. This isn't your fault though as some people just can't take responsibility for their own mental health.

My ex was like this. Do you feel like you're always treading on eggshells? I remember once I moved something of his and he had a massive go at me saying he put it there for a reason (a pair of trousers hanging over the edge of the bath). I folded them and put them on the bed and he said I was undermining him and went cold fir 2 DAYS. It never got better.

My family made the treading on eggshells comment too after it ended. It only lasts as long as you can put up with it.

It's not acceptable for her to "take it out" on you, OP.

You said she has depression - has she got an actual diagnosis? Do you know for sure that she's even discussed it with the GP - it would be very unusual not to be booked in for some kind of follow-up, whether that was for medication or referral to MH services.

You could benefit from help, if you're a man then ManKind are linked above, if you're a woman then from Women's Aid.

I think this book may also help you:
The Verbally Abusive Relationship

Man I feel you on this. As men we are bred to just work and provide. Our mental health is never even looked at or thought about. We deal with a lot. Yes we can be in the wrong but it seems like us ones that apologize don’t really get the credit we deserve. I know this post is 2 years old. But I just felt like replying because me and MY woman just argued over NOTHING. They expect us to just read minds and be the perfect one all the time. It’s really sad that they can just go off at the mouth and not even feel bad for it.

Hoe old is she?
Could be depression.
Could be perimenopause if she's in her late 40's
She should discuss with her dr op.

This is nearly a 2 year old zombie thread.