If you feel like this is it over?

[Dogsandplants]

I feel like my husband and I are just two people who live in the same house.
He has ed so sex has been off the table for a long time. We used to have cuddles and do other stuff but don't even do that anymore.

I don't feel a physical attraction to him anymore.
I realised last night that I can't remember the last time we had a proper conversation. It's all just general chit chat, what's on the telly etc.
I had a pretty upsetting day yesterday (am supporting a friend through a bereavement) which I told him about during the day. When he came home from work he didn't ask how I was or even mention it.
He tells me he loves me every day but I don't feel it. I feel very alone.
We had counselling about 8 months ago and things did improve a bit, we started making more effort, but they have slipped back.
Children (not together) are grown so we are able to go out.
I'm going to speak to him tonight but I know he will probably blame me for not putting the effort in anymore! I just haven't got it in me if that makes sense?
Just wondered if anyone has been through similar and got through it. Thanks.

Sorry, no.
For me, once the sex stopped due to ED, the relationship failed. Everything I had put up with before, because the sex brought us closer, I couldn’t put up with anymore. Resentment kicked in.
Im still living with him but like you, just two people living in a house, and it has to change. But I don’t want to be alone.

The ED wouldn't bother me, I dream of a sex free life!
Can you imagine a happy life without sex? If not no amount of counselling will change your satisfaction level in this relationship.

I would say that although sex is very desirable, it is a bit of a red herring in this situation. If my DH got ED, it wouldn't mean anything for our relationship because he is amazing (sorry). But if I had relationship issues already, I might find it a bit of a last straw?
I think your communication issues are far bigger. If you want to save the marriage (and you have to want to) you need to be totally tactfully honest with him about how you feel and how you want both of you to work to change things. If you are both to blame, say that, and try to reassure him you are not just blaming him. In your shoes I'd work on platonic physical affection first, even if it feels weird, and build up. But more importantly, communicate communicate communicate.
Obviously he has to want to save the marriage too, you can't do it alone. It might not work, but you might regret not giving it a really good last shot?

So has he been to the GP about his ed?

Perhaps he feels "less of a man" and is circling his own drain, so perhaps he needs to push a bit more see if there are root causes that can be healed.

Can you just not say "we were doing better after counseling and it's slipped again let's get back in track honey".

Communication is everything. Perhaps one more go at counselling with the agreement that if things don't change after that then you part ways.

@frozendaisy yes he's had various treatments over the years but nothing can be done now. He honestly doesn't seem that bothered.