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Original poster

Advice on situation with new guy

42 replies

88smith · 04/11/2022 15:11

I met a new guy a week ago. We’ve been texting constantly and have been getting on great. Two days ago he said he really liked me and talked about going on a date and seeing each other on his days off. Didn’t care I have kids. There have been photos sent from both of us and haven’t slept together but talked about it. Yesterday he messaged me to say his ex had got in contact and that they’re going to give things another go but he really likes me and doesn’t want to lose me. I spoke to him told him I liked him and to give me a chance. He didn’t want to let her down so said he’ll give it a go with her he was really apologetic and said a few times her timing is bad etc. he said he didn’t want me to go but he’d understand if I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I’m confused and I do like him and we had a connection and I feel like something good could have come from it.
We kept talking for a while and he’s said that maybe we could meet for sex behind his girlfriends back. I didn’t answer.
Im just confused and wanted more.

OP posts:
pictish · 04/11/2022 16:47

Whaaaaat?!

What do you ‘really like’ about him enough to be his wilful side hobby after a week, while he lives his actual life with his actual girlfriend to whom he is lying?

Raise your bar. Oh my god.

Emmamoo89 · 04/11/2022 17:11

Delete and block. He sounds like a 🔔🔚

DatingDinosaur · 04/11/2022 17:14

Walk away from him OP. It makes no difference whether you like him or not. Just walk away.

You spend a week chatting with this guy but haven’t met yet.

He does the decent thing and tells you he’s going to give it another go with his ex and yes, the timing’s bad but he’d like to keep you on the backburner remain friends.

That’s the point where you tell him you’re sorry things have panned out like this and you wish him well and hope it all works out as he’d like with his ex.

But you didn’t.

So he has taken that to mean you’re up for no strings shagging behind his soon to be his girlfriend again’s back.

So what if you like him? He’s told you what page he’s on and it’s different to the one you’d like him to be on so your self respect and self worth should be kicking in and thinking fuck that, I ain't nobody's second best.

The positive from this is he’s shown you he’s not trustworthy and that he’ll happily cheat on any girlfriend he has.

Leave him be.

It’s not your mate’s fault either unless he was acting as wingman for this guy you’ve not even met yet and was pimping you out to him.

Give your head a wobble.

Newwardrobe · 04/11/2022 17:20

What's there to be confused about? He was never single in the first place.

Ithurtbad · 04/11/2022 17:20

88smith · 04/11/2022 15:11

I met a new guy a week ago. We’ve been texting constantly and have been getting on great. Two days ago he said he really liked me and talked about going on a date and seeing each other on his days off. Didn’t care I have kids. There have been photos sent from both of us and haven’t slept together but talked about it. Yesterday he messaged me to say his ex had got in contact and that they’re going to give things another go but he really likes me and doesn’t want to lose me. I spoke to him told him I liked him and to give me a chance. He didn’t want to let her down so said he’ll give it a go with her he was really apologetic and said a few times her timing is bad etc. he said he didn’t want me to go but he’d understand if I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I’m confused and I do like him and we had a connection and I feel like something good could have come from it.
We kept talking for a while and he’s said that maybe we could meet for sex behind his girlfriends back. I didn’t answer.
Im just confused and wanted more.

Let him go back to his ex he can't have his cake and eat it.

Say wish you both the best it was nice knowing after a week you really can't have much of a connection honestly. You haven't fallen for him. Lucky escape I think for you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/11/2022 17:24

88smith · 04/11/2022 16:24

I should have maybe said that I got his number from my best mate. He said that this friend is a good guy and I can trust him. I did get angry with my mate when things happened yesterday but I know ultimately it’s not his fault.

Some men treat their male friends well and girlfriends like shit.

KettrickenSmiled · 04/11/2022 17:54

He didn’t want to let her down so said he’ll give it a go with her he was really apologetic and said a few times her timing is bad etc.
HER timing isn't bad. She isn't dating you. HIS timing is a fucked up mess.
I can't believe you are falling for his "I am such an honourable guy I cannot let my ex down so will go on this date with her out of the nobility of my soul. But it's YOU I really want, except I am powerless to say no to ether of you, so kindly wait in the wings until I've re-hooked my ex, so I can have both of you" bullshit.

We kept talking for a while and he’s said that maybe we could meet for sex behind his girlfriends back.
😂😂😂
How did you manage to keep talking? I would have been too busy laughing at him.

Im just confused and wanted more.
I'm sorry you've had a disappointment. But look on the bright side - you've only known him a week, & he's shown you exactly who he is. There's nothing to be confused about. He's a twat, & he's not good enough for you. Don't even respond to him again - block him, & move on.

KettrickenSmiled · 04/11/2022 17:57

He didn’t want to let her down so said he’ll give it a go with her makes me think he MIGHT be the kind of guy that likes to blame other people and not take full responsibility for his choices and actions.

You reckon?! No "might" about it.
He also blamed his EX for bad timing. As if it was her fault for him chatting up OP for a week. As if he had no choice but to cheat on both of them.

5128gap · 04/11/2022 18:01

KettrickenSmiled · 04/11/2022 17:57

He didn’t want to let her down so said he’ll give it a go with her makes me think he MIGHT be the kind of guy that likes to blame other people and not take full responsibility for his choices and actions.

You reckon?! No "might" about it.
He also blamed his EX for bad timing. As if it was her fault for him chatting up OP for a week. As if he had no choice but to cheat on both of them.

Yup. And he'll blame the OP for persuading him to give her a chance, because if she hadn't said that he wouldn't have had the idea of sleeping with them both.
What a run of bad luck this guy is having.

PS5Gamer · 04/11/2022 18:26

Delete, Block and move on. Unless you’re happy to be used for meaningless sex.

dudsville · 04/11/2022 18:29

What in the world are you confused about? He's openly inviting you to be a fwb.

ProFannyTea · 04/11/2022 18:32

Maybe you could meet for sex behind his girlfriends back?? Maybe he could fuck off!

monsteramunch · 04/11/2022 19:09

What on earth are you confused about?!

LooneyToon · 04/11/2022 20:00

What a schmuck.. yuk

booboo82 · 04/11/2022 20:02

Are you 12 ? Get a grip jeeeez

strawberry2017 · 04/11/2022 20:13

Turn away and never look back. This man will never respect you. He will treat you the same way he's treating his "ex"

CountTessa · 04/11/2022 20:19

A whole week, and all this drama... Seriously....

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