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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Living in my children's fathers house is a disaster

10 replies

Headabovewater6 · 04/11/2022 14:09

I have a 5yo and a 3yo with my boyfriend of 10yrs . We moved from one state where we were renting an apartment to another state where he owned a home because it was cheaper . A couple or years in his attitude changed when I would have company over ( usually only my family ) he would get upset and lock himself in our bedroom. It came to a point where I stopped inviting them over . I pay all the utilities care for the kids groceries etc and he still wants me to pay property taxes . We only have 1 vh which I own and I pay for the insurance and he feels since it’s insured at HIS house he can utilize it whenever he please without filling up the tank .When his mom comes over he expects me to give up our bed which our toddlers sneak in at night to accommodate her . He wakes up on days that I have off blasting Alexa and yelling not singing but yelling songs at the top of his lungs and when I ask him to please lower it he tells me it’s his house he can do as he please . I AM SICK OF IT AT THIS POINT ! . I am mentally physically and emotionally drained but I am scared to move my kids out of a house into a shelter until I am able to find an apartment . He makes me feel so small I don’t even recognize myself anymore . I can go on and on for days about the situation but I just feel stuck !

OP posts:
gamerchick · 04/11/2022 14:14

You're not stuck, you need a plan. Since you.dont seem to be financially dependant on him you have options.

What would he do if you stopped paying the bills in HIS house?

Can your family help?

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 04/11/2022 14:25

Your post doesn't sound like you are living in the UK.

Are you in the USA?

AgentJohnson · 04/11/2022 14:35

You have options but waiting around for him not be a twat, isn’t an option you should be considering. Star looking for a new place.

Headabovewater6 · 07/11/2022 03:07

my plan involves me relocating my toddlers to the city where rent is about 3,000$ a month for a 3bedroom . I can’t rely on my parents they currently have a 2 bedroom home which is jam
packed and I haven’t lived my parents for going on 12yrs . I am currently saving up and looking for apartments in my current area.

OP posts:
Headabovewater6 · 07/11/2022 03:08

I’ve been looked at apartments in my area and foreclosed properties as well .

OP posts:
ClaryFairchild · 07/11/2022 03:56

What country are you in? It makes a difference to some of the advice.

AutumnCrow · 07/11/2022 04:07

The USA, I'd have guessed.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 07/11/2022 04:14

Depending on which state you are in, go to the local county Health and Human Services Departments. Apply for WIC for your 3-year-old and apply for Section 8 housing for yourself and your children. Go to your 5-year-old's school and apply for free and reduced breakfast and lunch (this will put you higher on the Section 8 waiting list if there is one).

Rtmhwales · 07/11/2022 04:45

Or Australia.. $3000 seems high for rent unless it's California or NYC. Plus the writing of the dollar sign at the end isn't super common.

Either way, would help to know where you are to help advise.

Igmum · 07/11/2022 04:55

No practical advice on the system because I don't know that but just sending hugs. Yes, get away. He really isn't a nice person. Good luck OP

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