Dont know what to do????

[cantcarryonlikethiss]

I Have been with my OF for 2 years.. married. We have had ups and downs like most people but the last three weeks he's totally changed. I feel like hes constantly trying to make out theres something wrong with me, constantly putting me down and making out that the relationship is going downhill because of me. He doesn't listen to me and will turn every argument around onto why its my fault and what i don't do. Im at my whits end with it and i will not be made to feel like there is anything wrong with me when I have been nothing but supportive.Its like our sudden change to husband and wife has changed how he expects me to act and im not ' hitting' his expectations. I am just miserable and feel like ill be laughed at if i leave so soon after we got married? but at the same time life is to short to me unhappy and just put up with something because you think its the right thing to do... i have a child from a previous relationship who i am made bad for putting first in my life....Needed to write how i felt down and rant.

I never seem to be able to give him the response he wants and get moaned at for it.

It’s never good when you’re effectively made to feel bad for putting your child first. A mature and emotionally stable partner would understand that that is just the way things are and should be.
Before you throw the towel in though, have you spoken together about what could be bothering him ? Three weeks isn’t long, has he always been ok up to that point ?

Did anything specific happen re him three weeks ago?. I am wondering also if he has had his head turned by another woman.

Do not put up with this awfulness from him regardless of cause; I would start planning your exit from this marriage. You've been married now for 2 years so not a really short period of time. And why would you think you would be laughed at, that would not happen.

You leaving him may provide some gossip for a short time but most people would not be interested.

He's made comments before about me putting my child first, my child is autistic and needs additional help from me and he doesn't exactly help and makes point that ' hes not mine' when every he's being a little bit disruptive and it makes me feel bad as i want him to love and accept him as his own or how can this relationship go on? he's always got something that is causing him stress but makes out i am never supportive when all i do is encourage him to pick himself back up and help anyway I can whilst also trying to parent and work a full time job.

ITs not another women i know that as much i think he just wants to be mothered and its not something im willing to do!

we got married 3 weeks ago, i think thats one of the factors... like he's expecting me to maybe play this different role or do even more than i already do! i couldn't be more supportive of him and help him when he's stressed but i don't feel im getting it back and its making me regret ever getting married to him if this is how its going to be.

How old is he OP? If he having a panic as things have moved very fast?

he doesn't exactly help and makes point that 'hes not mine' when ever he's being a little bit disruptive

Talking like that about your son is horrible. He has known you and DS for two years, so it’s not as if he didn’t realise DS has special needs.

Can you sit down with him and talk about this, and about your future together? You have a lot on your plate and you can’t suddenly start mothering an adult man too.

Has it for markedly worse since the wedding OP. I wonder why you married someone who makes nasty remarks about your child

He was never like this .. it’s been since we got married. he’s always been loving towards him. Yes he gets frustrated with him but understandably as he didn’t have children of his own but only as of now am I getting the nasty comments

He’s 37 I’m 31 … he’s been married before so knows how these things pan out .. so I really don’t understand why he’s had a sudden personality change to this degree that’s making me miserable

So he’s been acting differently since you got married ?
I married someone who wasn’t 100% on board with me putting my disabled child ‘first’ ( as he saw it) and I bitterly regret not listening to my inner doubts . Now we’re divorced.
If your DH won’t meet you half way on this then it’s not going to improve, trust me.
If you think you may split up then don’t hang on just because you feel it’s been too short a time - people will judge, let them, it’s not their life.
Think if your DC and yourself, OP.

This is the hard part I don’t get how anyone could be unhappy with me wanting to me the best parent I can for my child? how can that make someone so jealous! It’s not like I ignore him and don’t give him my attention.

i shouldnt have to feel guilty for being a mother first then a wife/partner

Some men think once you are married and have you “trapped” that they can behave how they like.

My first husband quit his job the week we returned from our honeymoon and became a cocklodger.

My second husband didn’t start shouting until we were not long married.

Anyone small minded enough to laugh at you leaving an abusive man isn’t worth caring about anyway.

💐