Is this a red flag? OLD

[PatsyClinethree]

Hi MN wisdom needed as I have in the past failed to spot red flags with potential partners.

I've been chatting to this guy online, seems a pretty good match lots in common conversation flowing. He then says he's "a handful in the bedroom", fair enough, I'm not totally against sexual talk. He then goes on to say "I think you might be the one to tame me". Opinions please

Ick. OLD in my experience is mainly men just trying to push your boundaries

I block any guy who talks about sex before we have met (unless I'm hoping to meet a fwb).

It's a good place to practice dumping boundary-pushers. It's a good skill to develop.

@Watchkeys thanks for your advice. Yeah I defo had the ick kinda a wtf feeling.

😂 that would put me right off. Although I'm curious as to what he means. Probably means 10 seconds of reverse cowgirl instead of missionary.

That's the one! That's it. He's done you a favour, this guy: always keep that feeling in mind. That's your red flag feeling, and walking away from any relationship that gives you that feeling will save you from heartbreak, sadness, abuse, and all unpleasantness in the relationship world. It's a feeling that makes you doubt yourself, so you say things like 'Is it just me, or was that a bit off, what he just did?' Just like your OP.

And as some who IS looking for casual sex, the way these men cockblock themselves is just ridiculous. Why can they not engage with women without sounding like a horny 16 year old FFS 🙄

The whole I'm a handful, what's that then when it's at home
It's a blatant invite for you to ask him how so?
The an opening to talk about sex and what he's in to etc
It's a trap really, see what you go for
Also could be false advertising and hes very boring really
Overall op it's a bit ick for a grown man to talk this way so soon

@Guiltypleasures001 😝

Maybe he means he's a handful because he shites the bed and pisses in the wardrobe like a trapped puppy? Either way that would make me dry up.....Boak 🤮

Pretty much guarantee this guy is as vanilla as walls ice cream tbh. Lol
But no, not date worthy. He's not serious about wanting to have a relationship with someone.

@wackamole
You're my hero

Ewwww😂 would give me the ick.

Oh gawd, so cringey!

That kind of thing may work for some people but you have your own sense of what you're comfortable with, so good call @PatsyClinethree

If it feels off, it probably is!

I had a boyfriend years ago who told me that he was "kinky about sex". I went into my bedroom (not because sex was on the cards) to find him dressed in my bra, knickers, suspenders and stockings. That was the kinkiest thing he did and it was no turn on and just stupid. The items went in the bin. Another time he asked me to put on opaque tights (and nothing else), bend over the banister and he would have a wank. I just laughed and refused. He was dumped.

That's as kinky as he got (apart from being a sex pest). This guy is probably the same.

He wasn't a cross dresser BTW. He thought it was sexy. It wasn't.

😂

I got the eww reading that.

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron Omg that's disgusting 😂

He sounds like he is trying to portray himself as some kind of wild, untamed stallion. I would translate this as he will bore the fuck out of you both in and out of bed with his delusions.

This is exactly me! I work for time and have a son with additional needs. Defo not got time for hours upon hours of sex

He's probably talking bollocks anyway. The ones who talk like that about sex tend to be fairly mediocre and can't keep up. Still,it's helpful of them to weed themselves out.

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