Why should I care?

[TurnipTime]

My stbxh is a liar and it really pisses me off that he reinvents the truth to anyone who listens to him.

For example, telling people in his family that he had to restrain me when he assaulted me a while ago which true at all.

I quite like some of his family and I hate the thought of him telling lies that make me look bad to them.

Do I just maintain a dignified silence or tell the truth if asked? I mean, I get that it's really not that interesting to most people. But to be misrepresented in any way is infuriating.

Personally I'd just get a new partner.

Sorry, it's an ex.

I'd just ignore and move on.

Tell the truth, don't let him control you any further.

If someone asks then of course you tell the truth, why wouldn't you?

I told the truth. It bounced off them, including people who started off as my friends before becoming ‘our’ friends, because he had already got there. They still believe his lies. They still believe he is a charming guy and involved dad despite all evidence to the contrary. They cut me off, in fact.

I’d be prepared for his family to do the same to you. People don’t like to be wrong about someone- they’ve already concluded he was the good guy. You telling the truth won’t change their mind because they don’t want it to, sadly.

This is his shame, not yours. You have no reason not to tell the truth.

As it’s your exes family he is spreading his lies to, I would just ignore. Unless you have DC with the ex you are unlikely to see his family again anyway.
I’ve been on the receiving end of a lying smear campaign (different circumstances to you), so I know the frustration you must feel. It feels very unjustified. I think the worst of it is when you realise people are willing to believe outrageous lies about you. I’ve kept a dignified silence, I’ve lost people because of it. I think of it as the liar took the rubbish out of my life with them.
I would recommend in your situation to say nothing and just focus on the people who care about you. Try not to worry about what your ex is saying, easier said than done I know.

I do have dcs with ex unfortunately.

Also if he is a violent partner, is it likely he will continue to be violent in future relationships?

If he is violent I think you should be doing all you can to protect your DC from him. Have you reported the violence?