Unsettled by dreams

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

I regularly dream about my (male) colleague. I had a vivid dream last night and I'm both distressed and embarrassed about it. Any thoughts about this and how I can stop it, or even what it means?

I've dreamt about my colleagues at various points over the years, from the highly orgasmic to the highly disturbing, to really weird and fairly normal in between.

I would like to be able to forget the really disturbing one, though the subject has since left. The one where we were all curled up on a bed together (fully clothed) like a litter of puppies was quite comforting.

I'm not really embarrassed about any of them, they're just dreams, and I don't really need my subconscious to tell me which colleagues I wouldn't trust for a second or do feel secure and supported by. And I'm definitely not doing anything about the sex dream, as I don't want to be sacked, though I grin to myself when we meet. In any case, he'd probably never be as good IRL.

I'd just forget about it if you can. It is probably your subconscious processing something, but not literally. There's a good chance it will never happen again.

@EBearhug glad it's not just me! Would love to know what my subconscious is telling me!

Jungian views of dream analysis are pretty complicated (all about what your unconscious is trying to tell you) but male figures are usually some representation of your relationship with the animus, or the “man in every woman”

Animus is a female’s guide/archetype to assimilating masculine traits that lay deep inside (all women). You can be fully feminine while also incorporating traditionally masculine traits, and actually it is good to do that… but it can be difficult to assimilate some of these traits for fear of being ‘non feminine’ so we reject them….until we dream!

This is so bad because nowhere near a proper dream analysis….but Sexy dreams like this are not about this man in particular, but more likely to be about you trying to integrate the sexy masculine part of you.

Hows your sex life?

What sort of ‘sexual’ was he in the dream? That’s your clue!

@hamstersarse my sex life is nonexistent and that's how I want it for now as I ended a relationship last year of 21 years I'd been in since university. I'm not looking for a relationship or sex right now.

Maybe your unconscious has other ideas 😈

You might not be looking for sex,but your body might be wanting it. I always have steamier dreams mid-cycle. (Or had; I'm now 50, and no idea what my cycle is up to these days.)

I do actually fancy this guy, but not to the extent I think about him or fantasise, just that he's my type if you like and he reminds me of a (previous) ex.

I don't think it matters necessarily if you fancy him or not (though sex dreams are way more embarrassing if they're about someone you wouldn't look twice at in daylight.) Your body wants something and your brain just fixes on someone to work through it. Easier if it's just a passing stranger, though.