I'll stand here...

[JustMakeMeAList]

...and do fucking nothing because... you didn't explicitly describe every action I need to undertake for me to function.

Anyone else need to write code for their husband to do anything other than basic bodily functions?

I feel like he needs a script written for every task, a procedure note.

Look after the kids while I have a shower.

Husband: stands staring at them while I wash.

There are toys all over, food that needs clearing, a million things that could also be done.

He'll literally just watch them.

A pot was boiling and starting to boil over last week, I'm picking stuff up and spot it, he's closest to it. I point and say something panicked like 'arghh...switch it off... look' while pointing at the pot... the pot he's stood next to.

Husband: stands looking absolutely blank. And after I switched it off, where I had to practically move him our the way to do so, I get some patronising speech about, can I be clearer with my instructions as he had absolutely no idea what I was saying.

So not to drip feed, he claims he has adhd (hasn't had it confirmed but preliminary testing suggests mild) has not followed up diagnosis.

I feel like he spends a lot of his time watching me do stuff, telling me he'd never do it like that, whilst himself never doing it, or doing it so badly that I have to finish the job or fix it.

He then tells me he gets no time to do anything.

Aibu to think he needs to go be fully assessed before I lose my mind with exhaustion.
He laughs and says looking after 3kids isn't hard and when he does it he finds it easy.

Yeah... I'd also find it easy if I sat watching TV and not tidying and laundry and chores like sorting their wardrobes or actually playing with them.

I'm reaching the end of my patience.

Does he behave like this at work?

Yes. I'm considering leaving.

God this brings back memories.

You have my sympathies.

He watches movies while work loads, so I guess it's just his go to technique.
As in xyz is running..watch a bit of movie and perhaps he uses this technique in his personal life.
So, make dinner. Will just stand watching kettle boil for pasta rather than using the dead time to empty dishwasher, or while pasta cooking will look at facebook rather than fill dishwasher or clear up.
It's just the absolute opposite to me and so drives me absolutely mentally ill watching it.

I'm really looking towards kicking him out

He sounds pretty pathetic. A wet lettuce. I'm always flabbergasted these men manage to find someone to marry them and pro create as if they're a functioning; responsible adult.

Each year that passes it gets worse.
Almost each week.
Just vacant.

Something similar was the end of my marriage tbh, it just killed my respect and affection for him in the end. I used to wonder if he had some diagnosable condition but if so, I don’t know what.

Yes the more that needs doing then the less he does. Or many hours spent on 'cleaning his study' which is left to get into such a mess that if he just cleaned after himself, wouldn't need Kim and Aggy to help.

I have somewhat the opposite but still an infuriating problem. I'll say 'can you keep an eye on dinner whilst I insert task away from the kitchen here' and he will inevitably find himself also away from the kitchen doing something that yes, needs doing at some point soon but isn't urgent, doesn't need doing today, and ends up being at the expense of dinner which is now burnt/stuck to the pan/boiled over. Like sorting the coat rack (today's incident - yes it was too full, yes things need to be put in wardrobes and not left hanging in the hallway, but not right this fucking second).

I feel your pain.

Yes he'll do that as well.
So if I say I'm off to the toilet keep an eye on the baby, he'll just put them in a cot and wander off to get back to his computer so they will fall asleep or rip their nappy off and I have to clean that up.