Going insane

[Goinginsane666]

I’m turning 49 this year and I feel my emotions are all over the place. I have this horrible feeling in my gut that my husband is going to leave me for his brothers wife. His brother has terminal cancer and doesn’t have that long to live. I’m not sure why I think this he doesn’t particularly like her but she has said on more than one occasion that my husband used to fancy her this was before he got with me and for some reason I can’t get it out my head. He says she’s talking nonsense. I feel that sadly when his brother does pass she will rely on him to be a father figure to their 7 year old son, there is no other male figure in her life and I’m scared that him and her will start forming a bond that I can’t understand as it’s not my brother or my husband that’s passed. I keep telling myself these are irrational thoughts and maybe to do with my hormones but it’s really getting me down and I’m not sure if I should confide in my husband how I’m feeling as it’s weird and crazy thinking these things.

There is a lot going on here. It's obviously a traumatic time for your family. I don't think making accusations while your BIL is dying is a good idea (to say the least!).
Has your DH made you think that he has feelings for your DSIL or are they unfounded? If they are unfounded then obviously don't say anything and try to be there for him and his family.

It might be good to talk to your husband about how you feel. At your age you are probably having hormonal changes and that can lead to all sorts of irrational feelings. I'm not saying that to dismiss your worries but I'm the same age, so know how that can mess with anxieties. It sounds like he has tried to reassure you though. Has he given you any reason to be concerned?

I'm just re reading your post. I really think you need to be more supportive. His brother is dying and you're accusing him on steeling his brother's wife after he dies. That's a huge accusation and horrible assumption to make. I think I'd be really angry if I was in your DHs position.
Are you normally quite a jealous person? I think you need to try your hardest to get your jealousy under control. Have you talked to friends IRL about your feelings?

Talk to your GP. I felt similar at your age. I spoke to Doctor and had bloods were done. Then started HRT. It has made such a difference to my psychology. Hope you feel better soon.

I felt a bit irrational about a few anxieties at the same age. A few months ago the GP gave me Citalopram. I feel back on an even keel now.

Well her conversations with you about your husband fancying her are innapropriate, are these recent conversations ?

I agree women going through the menopausal age can have higher emotions but yours fears are not totally unrealistic if she has spoken in terms of your h fancying her. Yes she must be distraught and so must your husband be, but you should still be able to seek reassurance from him.

Not of how you think he will run off, but what you have told us about your emotional state and how you feel you are having irrational thoughts.

Care and support for one another will help you through this traumatic time.