”Perhaps my biggest issue is how he picks at my son.” Your words in May about this horror of a man.
@Simplehappyzen, any bully who humiliated my child in his own home would be shown the door pronto.
You constantly run interference when controlling H unreasonably nitpicks DS. An example is his criticizing DS for going to the toilet too often. Although you do read H the riot act, the damage is already done when DS has already heard and internalized the contemptuous comments.
In addition to abusing DS, H abuses you with his oppressive, coercive demands. You say he is sucking the life out of you.
No housework you do is good enough. When you hoover or clean, he will redo it as soon as he returns from work before even taking off his coat. He doesn’t like you to cook or bake, as he won’t abide the kitchen getting messy, and urges you to prepare only microwave meals. He also looks for and wipes the tiniest specks off the walls. He always has to monitor what you’re doing, so endlessly calls to or finds you upstairs, and phones while you walk the dog.
You have a chronic condition that is exacerbated by stress, so you work PT. Concerned posters urged you make an exit plan by researching your financial and housing options. I believe you had started that. As of July, you were still staying part-time with your dad (began in pandemic) to help support him. This additional stressor has also been taking its toll.
@Simplehappyzen, this latest occurrence of abuse of your vulnerable son is truly beyond the pale. Staying with this cruel, despicable man is now untenable.