Living as housemates with children - experiences

[Lovelybunchofwhatnots]

This has been discussed on other threads, but thought I’d start one specifically.
Me and my partner of 25 years - not married - are separating but deciding to live together as parents for our 3 children.

Who has and IS doing this and what have been your experiences?

Thanks x

I haven't lived like this but I was a child in this situation.
When they eventually decided to finally get seperate homes several years later, life was a lot calmer, nicer and better. There is a lot of tension when people decide to break up but still live together.
How will you handle dating, you might not want to now but in the future, having someone over while your ex is living with you is awkward.

Sounds impractical and awful.

Forgot the word but there is a system where a separated couple will have a studio flat. Each week one parent stays with the kids in the house and the other parent leaves to live on their own. This sounds better tbh. Less tension and less confusion for the kids.

Sounds absolutely horrific tbh !

Much better to be good co-parents doing 50/50.

You need your own 'space' i.e flat/house, because you don't/won't both agree 100% on things. (Ex's are worse than 'partners' for fucking you over just because they can ffs !)

Also the whole 'living in the same house' actually means that the woman ends up with the 'short straw' e.g Laundry/housework/cooking/school admin/child sickness/night wakings etc etc, and to top that off, your Ex is in the perfect position to 'police' your dating and social life too !!

To say nothing of the stress and emotional fallout that the kids will be brought up with...

Honestly, don't do it !

It’s extremely early days so we’re considering this as neither of us are in the position to move out and set up elsewhere yet. We get on fine. At the moment. This is new territory so who knows how we will feel in a few months time?

We plan to set ground rules and bringing someone else into this home environment where our children live will be a strict no no.
Obviously this won’t be forever and there may come a time when one or both of us find love elsewhere or decide it’s time to move on.

Just interested in other people’s experiences of this. Getting my head around it all.

Am just about to do this for exactly the same reasons as you. Hopefully it will be workable as a short term option, we anticipate up to 12 months. Not finalised everything yet, what kind of things have you put in place so far?

@Amsooverthis I see this as short term too - not in it for the long haul. 12 months seems like feasible amount of time.

We are using this week to tell the children and then the rest of our immediate family.
We have a loose plan in mind to change around bedrooms. Tricky in a 3 bed with 5 of us but we think we can make it work.
As of yet, nothing set in motion. All plans in my head though. Once our children know then we will put things in place.