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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Anyone with experience of this crap before I confront him

18 replies

hmfto · 30/10/2022 23:00

I just need to know one thing because I am about to confront my partner and need to know the facts before I do so I know where I stand.. He knows that I know he is on there and is on his way home now, He said on the phone an hour ago that he never met a sex worker, but he knows her in real life so left a review for her, including a field report to help her boost her profile on there by leaving fake reviews.

If anyone has ever found their partner on adultwork and maybe knows a little about how it all works..

If I buy something from a website I am able to leave a review on it, but only if I buy the item first. Does adultwork work in the same way, as in, in order to leave a review on there do you have to have bought services first? Can you leave a review without seeing a sex worker/camming with them?

So could I go on now, find a random sex worker and give her a good review and write out a field report without actually having met her?

Hope I make sense, in shock atm.

OP posts:

VioletLemon · 30/10/2022 23:03

I'm sorry you've been so let down, do you have proof that this has happened or not...

Guessie · 30/10/2022 23:07

hmfto · 30/10/2022 23:00

If anyone has ever found their partner on adultwork and maybe knows a little about how it all works..

So could I go on now, find a random sex worker and give her a good review and write out a field report without actually having met her?

Hope I make sense, in shock atm.

Sorry OP but leaving a review for a friend re their sex work alone is bang out of order. Unbelievable really! The fact he thinks that's an OK excuse is really weird. I have no idea if it's the truth or not but I don't think this man is any good for you.

Moondanceagain · 30/10/2022 23:08

Has his nose grown ? He’s rated her because he’s used her ! Google his username and adultworks together to see what else it shows. He would have to be registered to leave a review ! How do I know so much sadly from personal experience of finding my partner out ! He will lie until he’s blue in the face ! Ask for his phone and bank account details and watch him turn defensive!

altmember · 30/10/2022 23:12

If what he's telling you is even remotely truthful, he'll have no issue with introducing you to this female friend so she can confirm his story. They must be fairly good friends for her to have asked and him to have agreed to do it. Or he's just dug himself into a bigger hole (more likely).

Original poster

hmfto · 30/10/2022 23:20

VioletLemon · 30/10/2022 23:03

I'm sorry you've been so let down, do you have proof that this has happened or not...

I have his profile on there, same user name he uses everywhere else online, other adult sites come up as well, Just seen he has left two reviews for the same sex worker.. The dates match up to when I was away with work.

OP posts:

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/10/2022 23:25

He is disgusting. What's your home situation like? Do you have joint accounts?

Moondanceagain · 30/10/2022 23:26

Unfortunately he’s using them. I couldn’t believe it when I found out my shy, reserved partner was doing this . Googling his username with adultworks as well opened more and more gross stuff. He will tell you it’s a sex addiction after the lying is found out and he will agree to counselling . Do your self a big favour and move on, they never stop and it will ruin your self esteem 😞

N1C · 30/10/2022 23:30

@hmfto to answer your question, yes you can leave a review whether you've seen someone or not. I'm sorry I don't think this is that relevant here. It sounds like a desperate excuse.

Gamezup · 30/10/2022 23:37

Don't know if it's possible to leave a review if he hasn't visited a prostitute, but if he knows her as he claims, he should introduce you to her! He won't of course, because he's lying and hoping you will believe him.
I've been in this position so I speak from experience. Without doubt he has visited them, so you should get his bags packed and get him out of your life before he destroys you in the same way I was destroyed. He will fill you with lies and bs and you need rid of this disgusting creature from your life asap!!

Moondanceagain · 30/10/2022 23:39

He would have had to have seen her to leave a review as the booking has to be confirmed via Adultworks and the girl, I think it’s different for a field report though. Don’t even bring yourself in to that world, I nearly had a breakdown trying to find stuff and play detective . Seriously leave, I tried to make excuses for my partner bad addiction etc then I found a hotel receipt for an hour mid morning !

Maytodecember · 31/10/2022 02:19

hmfto · 30/10/2022 23:20

Show quote history

I’m sorry, you’ve got your answer right there, and he’s certainly not her friend, she’d know him as customer.
Look after yourself.

growgrowinggrown · 31/10/2022 02:33

You need to have booked and been accepted by the girl to leave a review.

Ask for his login details - you should be able to see the private messages between them both arranging the meet up.
Failing that, ask to see the text she sent him asking for a friendly fake review.....

Fraaahnces · 31/10/2022 02:33

If it walks like a duck… if it quacks like a duck… if it waddles like a duck…. It’s not a bloody front end loader, is it?

daisychain01 · 31/10/2022 03:55

@hmfto sorry to say this but you're in a relationship with a lowlife.

Save yourself time and effort, just get shot of him rather than getting tangled up in trying to prove things against him. No healthy relationship needs this humiliation, don't allow him to drag you down, get rid. You don't need him.

KangarooKenny · 31/10/2022 06:41

How are you doing this morning op ?

Chickenwing2 · 31/10/2022 09:54

He is obviously lying.

I agree that you should ask for his log ins for adultworks- if he is telling the truth he should have no problem giving this. If he refuses or says hes forgotten the password thats all the proof you need.

You deserve better!

EXSW · 31/10/2022 10:35

Adultworks is just an advertising platform for sex workers, bookings don't have to be 'confirmed' by adultwork. The vast majority of bookings are not even made via the booking system (which is like a similar booking system to say a hairdressers, you can just call up and book you don't need to go through the booking form).

OP it is technically possible to create a fake review. The way the booking system works is -
Potential client creates a booking
Worker either clicks to accept the booking or not
Once the time for the booking has elapsed, each can leave 'reviews' - yes, crass I know, but it does help with women's safety. When I worked I would only see people with good reviews from other workers who were also reviewed, so it works both ways.

Fake reviews do happen, but they are usually by the sex worker herself, or her regular clients.

I'd say that the chances of him not having cheated on you are VANISHINGLY, VANISHINGLY LOW. Yes, he has cheated.

Watchkeys · 31/10/2022 10:52

daisychain01 · 31/10/2022 03:55

@hmfto sorry to say this but you're in a relationship with a lowlife.

This. You can't prove your feelings anyway, you can only state them, and that's why you're leaving him - because of how what he did makes you feel. Not because of the specifics of what he did. You don't actually know if he used her or not, so it's not him using her that's upsetting you.

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