Middle aged

[Halloween22]

So name changed for privacy.
49, two lovely children, husband of 18 years all good. Been off sex for months/ years but covered up but not to extent husband mentioned lack of intimacy every do often and so made more of an effort.

Then in last 2 months had a.crush on colleague. Blown me away

Sorry posted too soon. but that eventually once got my head round it has made my libido come back. All good. Really good. But I feel so sorry for the lack of love life I gave my husband for last few years. Its awful I feel so guilty. So guilty. If only I could turn the clock back.....he is wonderful and deserved / deserves more than how I treated him. I suppose I'm asking has anyone else felt like this and got through it without confinding in anyone?

We had a bit of a lull, came back with a vengeance about 2 years ago.

Don't look back celebrate the future and enjoy the love sex and fun you are now having.

What else can you do? Guilt might just paralyse you in the end.

You can now and onwards have the confidence in bed with your husband who you know loves you with everything if he was still there after many moons of no intimacy that sort of deep down love is worth a million crushes.

Enjoy.
Don't look back.

To add nothing happened or will come of colleague thing. Just made me feel.alive again. But I dread to think how I would have pottered on if this hadn't happened upon me. I took my husband for absolute granted for last few years and the guilt is awful.

Oh thsnks so much what a lovely message frozen daisy will take your advice on board. Feel better already!

If you have a very close, confidential female friend it's worth a catch up natter. I usually have a someone I can talk girl with. You usually find that what you are going through is nothing unique.

Sometimes something like that is a good kick-start, it isn't anything bad as long as you don't act upon it, sounds like a great thing for your hubby. I know it is hard when you feel guilty but it is the problem with long term relationships, it can't all be fireworks all the time, it would be impossible and exhausting to sustain. Have fun with it and enjoy a new phase with dh!

But the crush did happen
And you are not pottering on
And all the crush did was make you jump the hubby, which is a win win situation.

Look we had a lull, I lost my confidence but after much crying, wine love and chat it turns out my husband enjoys my enjoyment at least as much as his. As soon as that was believed (by me) it was all guns blazing! Pardon the pun. Never looked back. So moments of "we could have been doing this all this time" ....but we weren't, but then we were (and made good ground in lost time). And it's not lulled again. We are realistic as we age health, general bodily functions might halt us again but my word are we filling up our memory banks before that happens.

Lose the guilt. Jump the hubby.