Am I bro g over them top

[sharonk04]

Hi

I was wondering if you can help me with your opinions please. I'm seeing this guy he's younger than me I have three child from my previous relationship. We live together. He tends to go back to see his Nan every week sometimes 2-3 times a week on his own and stops over.

I had an op on my hand and he left me with the kids the next day to go to his nan's birthday. I had to change diapers with one hand and it was a struggle. Later that evening I fell from the medication I had taken and suffered mild concussion.

Now I have the flu been coughing sweating bodies aching all weekend and today he's gone to see his Nan bare in mind it's a 2hr drive there and 2hrs back.

He kept saying to me do you need me to stay today. Full well I know he wants to go. It would have been nice for him to say you're I'll I won't go today I'll help look after the kids.

I said to him I'm not making the decision he's old enough to know what's right. His response was well I'm in a lose lose situation if I go I will annoy me and if he don't he annoys his nan and I should have said I'm ok it's fine to go see the
Older woman.

It escalated to where I said I'm sick of him making me bad for asking him to stay he should know himself I'm ill I've just had an op I'm struggling with 3 kids.

He stormed off and drove off assuming to his nans. He hasn’t contacted me since leaving at 9am this morning.

I don’t have an issue with him going and never have done prior but it would have been nice if to feel like I’m being taken care of when I feel so ill.

All my life I've always put everyone before myself before my own health. I was bed ridden with my youngest as I have severe arthritis and my ex husband would leave me with the kids I feel like history is repeating.

Any help, advise would be great.

@sharonk04

Thanks xxx

If you need him to stay just tell him to stay. There is really no need to be a martyr about this. If he wants to go to his nan’s he can take the kids with him to let you get some rest. He’s not a mind reader. Tell him what you need.

1. If you don't want him to go, be clear. 2. He likely isn't seeing his nan, IMO, 2-3 per week, at a 4 hour round trip? 🙄

How old are you? Why is your new boyfriend responsible for your three children from your past relationship? So many red flags here on both sides.

How old are your kids? How old is your OH and how long have you been together?

You've moved in a boyfriend and have a child from a previous relationship still in nappies? Seems a bit fast to move someone in to act as Daddy to three children. He's not prepared to be a step father so move him on I think.

I would normally say you can't expect a bf to be responsible for your children. However, if you've been together a while so he has a step-dad relationship with them, that's entirely different. And in fact, whatever his relationship with them, as your partner you'd think he'd want to help you out when you're ill, whatever that involves. I can't imagine living with someone but not wanting to help them out when they're ill.

I'm really suspicious of him visiting his nan 2-3 times a week, a 4-hour return trip. He could of course be a devoted, caring grandson (but it doesn't sound like he's a particularly caring person, given he doesn't treat you that way). Are you sure he's visiting his Nan?

Of course, if his nan does need extra care and he feels responsible / perhaps she doesn't have anyone else, and you're certain that's what he's doing then it's harder to judge him. How does he treat you normally? Do you feel loved and supported?

He is not responsible for your DC, they are not his. How long were you together when he moved in?