Struggling with being 60

[WherehasmyjoygoneFFS]

I made a big fuss of my big birthday during 2022 but in the month leading up to the actual day, serious family shit kicked in. On the day, the shit had been resolved but i was pretty shell-shocked and could barely muster enthusiasm for all the fancy stuff that I had planned. I did it, it was fun in parts, but i just kept dwelling on what hadn't happened - eg properly wrapped pressies from DC, thoughtful cards from them. Then my DP of over three years presented me with just a nice card and a cheap potplant... I've handed his arse to him on a plate for that...

It's not like me either to be a princess or to view the world through a lens of stress, worry, shame and disappointment. This will pass, won't it? It's not just what happens when you're 60???

It can happen any age OP.

I think you just had perfect celebrations in your mind that didn't work out.

I mean it might be illustrative of other things but only you know that.

Have you calmly expressed your disappointment to everyone?

Thanks, I guess that's true about it happening at any age - maybe this is just an unfortunate coincidence. The family shit was re a very elderly relative so it's sparked a mortality crisis in me, which turning 60 has really not helped.

Re the DC - i guess for the first time i find less joy in them than worry and disappointment. The elder two seem to have 'stalled', while the youngest has so many health problems she is struggling to keep her head above water.

Re the DP, his hopeless response to my birthday has sparked off a couple of serious doubts i have about him - he is intellectually and physically lazy, and he is tight. It's never been a match made in heaven but until now the positives have far outweighed the negatives. Now I'm wondering whether to call time.

I think you are right.

Cut the dead weight from.your life.

Well as regards to your children, once they are adults it is their lives to stall as they see fit. Again you might have lots of dreams and ideas how things should be but if you think back to their age would you listen to your parents? I mean isn't it a bit hypocritical to expect our offspring to exceed our achievements no matter how much we think it's good for them?

Learn piano it's a great skill to have. Can you play piano?. No but if I could have my time again I would.

But would you really........

People stall it's not the end of the world life isn't one perfect upwards trajectory of ticking achievements off.

Well they haven't intentionally stalled, it'a situational! My worry for them is their happiness and security not their 'achievements'. I certainly don't expect them to match my life at all, they are not me.

I think I'm going to hibernate for a week or so, see how i feel. Just work, dog and gym.

Thanks everyone.