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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Carefully preparing to leave please help me anticipate the backlash

29 replies

stormwatcher · 29/10/2022 18:35

My marriage is over. I have been at the receiving end a sustained night of raging emotional abuse that went on into the next morning. I felt intensely cold, shaking uncontrollably and my knees were like jelly. I couldn't get warm, and my heart was racing for hours afterwards. He came into my bed (we haven't slept in the same room for over a year) at 5am, I pretended to be asleep. I experienced something similar years ago when I was pregnant. I called the police then, had him removed but he returned and never any physical violence since then, although he still follows me out of a room and blocks doorways until I have "listened" to him. His other tactic is to speak increasingly loudly until he is roaring -this is, he explains, to teach me to listen without interrupting, and that if this wakes the children, it is my own fault. He denies everything, and refuses to speak about the impact of his behaviour. His tactic is to threaten to bring up things from my past. He agreed, once, to marriage counselling, on the grounds that he could show me up as an unfit wife and mother. I refused.

The last year he has had explosive rages, binge drinking, fallen, screamed abuse for hours at a time, then a return to "normal" the next day. Never remembers anything, believes/lies/invents fictitious events that he dreams up. Calls me a liar and a fantasist but now lying to his family about me. He speaks about me in the third person when he is ranting (often when he is alone in the room), "we bought her a X", "we said she could work" etc...My adult son has witnessed these events. I need to leave. He refuses to leave when I have asked him to, he will never accept me leaving with my children and his family own the house.

I hope to have enough money in the New Year, and will not be telling him that we are leaving in advance.
I will seek legal and domestic violence advice next week.
At the point of leaving I will speak to schools and the police to make them aware

These are the areas I need help to anticipate:

If he comes home to a note(or solicitor's letter) explaining why we have left, and I provide just a contact email (no phone or address) -what will happen if he contacts the police? Will the fact that the police will have been pre-warned by me, and that I have been advised by a specialist family lawyer help protect us from his response? I fully expect him to lie and accuse me of being an unfit mother, his other tactic (used when the police removed him years ago) was to express incomprehension and to appear solicitous about my mental stability. Even though he was drunk and I was teetotal.

If I refuse mediation can this be viewed negatively if the courts are involved?

Should I inform Universal Credit after I leave (he accesses the joint claim journal) to confirm my change of circumstances?

If I remove the children's furniture and beds could this be used to accuse me of parental alienation/having a desire to prevent access?

Has anyone else faced this, but delayed leaving until after exams?

I hope to have a furnished, homely house ready to move into before the day we leave, this shouldn't be too difficult, as he has no interest in our lives. To minimise the disruption to my children, we will be living no more than 15 minutes away, this is entirely for their benefit, friends, schools etc.

If his behaviour escalates I will phone the police immediately, press charges and seek a non-molestation order.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hoped I could endure until my youngest left home, but now realise this is simply not possible.

OP posts:
OnTheBrinkOfChange · 29/10/2022 18:40

This sounds absolutely horrible. You poor thing. How old are all your children? Would they willingly go with you?

If I were you I would be talking to the police now at this stage. When he contacts them, which he almost certainly will, you really need them to have heard about all this in advance. Also contact women's aid, the sooner the better.

Is there anyway you can record him without him knowing? It can be really shocking hearing that sort of thing for real, so anyone who doesn't believe you can listen to it and change their mind.

emerald7 · 29/10/2022 18:41

This is incredible brave of you and most certainly the right thing to do for yourself and your children.

emerald7 · 29/10/2022 18:42

I would definitely be calling the police sooner though if you are unsafe now

Wishihadanalgorithm · 29/10/2022 18:45

Do you have friends or family IRL who can help you? I’d be squirrelling things away from him now and storing at a friend’s or family member’s.

Definitely contact the police now, do record him if it’s safe to do so and send a copy of the file to someone else. Also contact women’s aid and inform the school of what will be happening.

Iwish you loads of luck.

Mindymomo · 29/10/2022 18:45

As previous poster, can you record the verbal abuse, but please get out asap and definitely call police if you or DC are in danger.

RandomMess · 29/10/2022 18:45

I agree you need to speak to woman's aid and Rights of Women urgently then speak to domestic violence team of your local police.

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 29/10/2022 18:55

The age of your dc is very relevant.. Secondary age I would be moving far away if they won't be choosing to see him. He can apply for access. He can explain to the courts why they don't want to see him.

HazelBite · 29/10/2022 19:50

How old are your Dc's OP?

Ofcourseshecan · 29/10/2022 20:21

he still follows me out of a room and blocks doorways until I have "listened" to him. His other tactic is to speak increasingly loudly until he is roaring -this is, he explains, to teach me to listen without interrupting

Can you get recordings without his knowledge? Being very careful not to let him know ,in case of even more violence.

I was a juror on a stalking/ harassment case, in which the defendant was acquitted because most of the jurors didn’t believe the husband’s behaviour (yelling and threatening outside the house) was as frequent or as distressing as the wife claimed. They believed she or her new partner would have set up CCTV or recorded the incidents on her phone.

stormwatcher · 29/10/2022 21:12

Thank youDaffodil
My children are teenagers and would leave with me. Next week will be difficult as I seek support and legal advice. I have recorded before, then stupidly deleted as there was a risk he would find them-now I'm prepared to copy and share as appropriate. I was appalled when i replayed the recordings before deleting, the rage was/would be unbelievable until you heard them, I've always feared that no one would fully believe me, as he has a carefully constructed professional persona and is highly manipulative. And the next day pretends I am a liar/mentally ill and laughs when i recall his outbursts.
I am safe btw, adult sons here, but longing to be free.

OP posts:
Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 29/10/2022 21:16

Even if you were completely batshit he wouldn't get dc who didn't want to be with him at their ages...
Get you all free op. Claim Cms. Get a sim only he has the number for. Check it now and again. Dc can also block him if they wish.

Ofcourseshecan · 30/10/2022 16:11

I was appalled when i replayed the recordings before deleting, the rage was/would be unbelievable until you heard them, I've always feared that no one would fully believe me, as he has a carefully constructed professional persona and is highly manipulative.

That’s what happened in the case I was juror in. I believed the woman, but most other jurors took for granted that she would have recorded his outbursts. So do get any recordings you can without endangering yourself. Xx

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 30/10/2022 16:27

OP, I really strongly suggest calling Womens Aid and asking their advice to put together a plan to leave safely. You sound very well-organised and sorted, but there may be a few things you haven't yet considered that they will have experience of.

Leaving is the most dangerous time for you statistically speaking.

Did he sexually assault you last night? If so do you need medical attention? Sorry to ask. But your OP started telling us about him coming into the bedroom and then you just stopped talking about it. (I have worked for years with survivors of sexual violence and you learn to hear the things that are too painful to be said aloud. Apologies if I have got this wrong.)

stormwatcher · 06/11/2022 13:59

No, and never, but thank you for asking. Everything was quiet until a couple of days ago, then more raging and then a lull. I've seen the mask slip now- my older son has now said that he has been googling narcissists, as he believes this is what we are dealing with.

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 06/11/2022 14:18

Could you make some new recordings if he does it again, save them to a USB stick and send them to a trusted relative or friend for safe keeping, then delete them from your devices?
The lone rants sound very unhinged.

stormwatcher · 27/05/2023 01:46

I wish I had left seven months ago. The gaps between each outburst started to become smaller, and he insisted I transfer hundreds of pounds to him to pay the bills, as he no longer was paid monthly. Of course, this money was never repaid a week at a time, and so my ability to leave was damaged. I really thought that having planned to separate would be enough, that I could use the time to plan everything, and move in the least disruptive way for my children, without him suspecting. I even planned to consider mediation, if this would allow for a less hostile response for him. On more normal days, I even considered formalising our living separately (we do already) in the same house, with a door separating us, so the children could go from up to downstairs (where he was) and I could avoid him. I thought that as soon as the last exams had finished, we would go. I thought that we would be safe, and that I was strong enough. But then the malice really started this month.

A night of horror, starting with his vile comments about a child's dress sense, rage when I challenged and forbade him to continue, said if he tried to go up to my daughter I would have to drag him downstairs so we could sort this out away from the children-

His response was to lope up and down the stairs, involving the children, calling me a stinky c* and a coward, and screaming that I had threatened to kill him outside. He then came into my room and whispered "What's X's number, where is he, you said you didn't say you were going to take me outside to kill me, so you must have planned this with your brother." I begged him not to mention my brother in front of the children (I haven't seen him since I left home at 18, except at my mum's funeral), but he took great pleasure in revealing their psychopathic uncle. He then explained to them that I had not told them about him because I didn't want to protect them, There then followed a vile tirade where he instructed them to prepare for him being found killed by me and my brother, before telling them how my brother may attack my daughter, and how they would have to try to kill him when I let him in the house when everyone was asleep.

Every time he came back upstairs, he slammed his wedding ring on the bannisters so we could hear each heavy step he took. He stopped at 3 am.
The next days and weeks I moved heaven and earth, sorting out financial help from my bank's financial abuse team, finding a solicitor, applying for tenancies, and making an exit plan. On 19 May I was offered a tenancy. I only had to wait until 1 June to move in.

Two days ago, he blew. We were saved by dialling 999 55-the lovely call handler kept the line open while we waited for the police. Hearing the ranting and the threats, I was told to leave the house. I had to wake my youngest and get him out with the others, in pairs, so each older son was with a younger sibling and I was between them and my husband. We got to the front door, and my husband had taken both keys. I will never, never forget the despair I felt.

All I can say to anyone who delays phoning the police, is please don't. Sheer terror and absolute will to get my children to safety propelled me past him and out of the back door which my son had managed to unlock. He sat gazing at me as we rushed past, and I never want to see that look of hatred or be in his presence ever again.

I know that he is on bail, that he is forbidden to contact us or enter a large exclusion zone - that somewhere tonight he will be brooding, and planning and hating. I don't know what will happen next, only that at 3 am on a street bench in my pyjamas and with my lovely, brave children, the police found us, saved us, and our new life has begun.

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 27/05/2023 02:00

OP I’m really pleased to hear that you are out now. I hope you are getting support from womens aid or similar.

Wishing all the best to you and your lovely DC

greenspaces4peace · 27/05/2023 02:32

that's a big step forward in the right direction.
stay safe.

Weenurse · 27/05/2023 02:45

💐 I hope your new life brings you peace

BritInAus · 27/05/2023 05:16

Congratulations on the start of your new life. Please take great care xxx

Billybagpuss · 27/05/2023 05:40

Well done @stormwatcher you are brave and a peaceful new life is waiting for you. Where are you staying ow have you been able to get back into the home.

you should also look into some counselling for you and the dc as, as much as you’ve tried to hide things from them they will know what was going on 💐

phoenixbiscuits · 27/05/2023 06:50

I had a similar experience, planned to leave an abusive partner, things escalated and one night he escalated it to the point it was obvious he should be arrested. I am free. And so are you.

I hope you're going to court, take every service you can, I really appreciated getting a tour of the courtroom beforehand, and the booklet on being a witness was useful. I ended up having a screen that I hadn't requested but I was actually really grateful for.

Therapy has been useful in some ways, but it's a long road. One of the hardest parts was unlearning responses that kept me sane and alive but are unhelpful now. I used to be good at hiding my emotions but now I just really struggle with that. It's still been good, but be prepared.

Enjoy your freedom! 😁

Rainbowsandfairies · 27/05/2023 06:55

Congratulations on breaking free! You are so strong! I've experienced similar and can tell you your life in a year 's time will be so much better. Take care xx

RandomMess · 27/05/2023 07:08
Flowers

How horrendous glad things are moving forward.

BlastedPimples · 27/05/2023 07:14

@stormwatcher you are an incredible woman. You have planned your escape. We are all willing you on.

It is absolutely terrifying when they go into a rage like this. It goes on for hours. And then claim to remember nothing. Apart from the sheer terror, it is bizarre.

Are your teenagers going through exams at the moment too?

If you ever have to record again, send the recordings to friends, relatives, solicitors - anyone else - so they're kept. My stbx smashed up my phone one time when he realised I was recording him. The dcs and I all learned to send our recordings elsewhere for safe keeping.

Sending all power and strength to you. Remember you're incredible.

Be prepared also for the snivelling begs for forgiveness once he realises you've taken charge of your own life. Ignore ignore ignore. I fell for that once and he then went on to verbally abuse my ten year old.