Upset scared for future

[Leomii81]

Been with Dp 12 years living together for 6. Have a Dd by previous relationship who has now moved away to the states. Dp and me always had a up down relationship. Both independent and prone to stubbornness and can be selfish.
He can be incredibly critical and hard work so can I and often have petty rows which lead to uncomfortable atmospheres.Really miss having fun and feel life is so complicated at times, he's critical of my driving and today i blew up at him. Our sex life used to be fantastic and is now non existent. Both have stressful ft career's. Is this all life has to offer. Need a rant.

My self esteem and mental health is low and having a negative Impact on our marriage.
Find myself staying out of his way at times as Don't have the energy for a disagreement and wanting to be alone. Don't know if this is depression or being with my DH.

Don't know if this is depression or being with my DH.

Could be both. What are you doing to manage the depression? Do you want to break up with him? It sounds shit, a miserable relationship is completely exhausting. Sorry you’re having a hard time. It’s okay to choose a different path.

No it isn’t all life has to offer. But unless you missed a lot out, it sounds quite easily solvable, you part ways.

Do you think you could do "better"?

That sounds very stressful and difficult. I've been divorced for 15 years - had quite a few relationships along the way and am now happily single. I sometimes think it would be nice to have someone to do things with but ultimately I just love my independence. My last relationship was much like yours and since ending it it's put me right off. I couldn't bear tip toeing on eggshells for fear of what mood he was in. Not knowing if he was going to be angry, mean or giving me the cold shoulder. Everyday it undermined my confidence, I was anxious and stressed and felt I'd lost touch with myself. Then I'd flare up now and again because I was in such a state of fight or flight.

It's no way to live. Now I live in calm serenity. If I can't sleep I make a cuppa read a book or watch a movie. I go out when I want, where I want, cook what I want, order in a takeaway. My home is my haven and just how I like it.

You know really what to do OP. What's the point of making each other miserable. There's more to life.

This sounds draining. Life's too short.

Move on.