Hello everyone. I hope everyone is okay and I’m wondering if someone can give me a little bit of advice. Myself and my partner split in May and since then he has been with numerous women. Since summertime he has got into relationship with someone that he’s known for about 10 years. We have a child who is under the age of one and since he has been with her their relationship has moved very very fast.
He has said some horrible things along the way that have been quite hurtful, put the other night he told me that the relationship wasn’t really what I probably thought it was and that I just taking things to heart which he has told me. He said it’s nothing like what it appears to be and actually it’s just a bit of company quite often with their children (she has a child who is one and a half). He told me that they see each other when they both don’t have the kids and that she hasn’t stayed there with my daughter there but has met her quite a few times. We had quite he to talk to you tonight and when I got off the phone he’s a message to say that his girlfriend would be starting to stay at the house with my daughter there. I know that this was inevitable at some point, so I replied saying that as long as my daughters routine was kept a child ideally was not in the same room to wake her up then I hope to their relationship was a bit staged at work. He then called me as soon As I had replied to say you frustrate me why are you not reacting to that. I said that I didn’t have a right to react to that and I have to trust him in terms of his parenting as it was inevitable that this would happen. Inside lining about how they would buy a house together, how he would turn the room into room for a child, how happy they were, how on the worst person ever, how she’s the one, she’s such a good mum to my daughter. i then put the phone down. he then text me saying that he also want to tell me that they would be going on holiday together with both of their children at Christmas. And I did not need to react to make it really hard that need to be, it was just a courtesy text. Again he then called said it is what it is but she’s the one, you really like spending time with her, he wants to learn to get to know her it’s been more time together, and that again you know Amy she could be the one. He was laughing as he was saying it as where they are going is somewhere that we used to go every Christmas together. He said that he knew one day that I would realise how lucky I was with him and that he hoped it hurt watching the life that he built for me and my daughter be appreciated by someone else. He said that he will always hold you responsible for the break up as I was insecure pregnant. All of this is slightly rich at the end when I was pregnant.
my question is to people who co-parent, have people been in this situation please tell me that it gets easier because at the moment I just feel like everything is constantly hurting round my daughter, and I just want to be a good mum, feel like I’ll be totally pushed out by someone else and Himge. The reason for this is just due to the constant hurtful comments that makes it quite often feel like there’s a reaction as he only text them because he says he likes to show people my response.
How would people therefore manage this now. I didn’t reply after his hurtful comments and then I woke up to 4 messages telling me how he was sad about how I felt towards him, how he hopes one day I will change my mind about how horrible of a a person he is ( stuff he doesn’t say on a phone as I believe he is a narcissist).
have people been in a similar situation? Does coparenting get easier & how? And how do you protect your child from new partners (he has said in one breath she’s the one & in the next that they’ll probably break up and he’ll find someone new as he’s a great guy..)