Done with so called friends!

[Notlivinglife]

Anyone else fed up with going out and trying to make an effort with people who really couldn't care less about you? Would much rather stay in and watch a good film or drama & nice food. I can't be doing with trying to socialise with annoying people who think they are life and soul and trying to outdo the next & me pretending I'm having a good time. I hate loud places snd people. Why do some also feel the need to keep bleeting on about their nights outs, where they were. Oh bore off!
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Then next time when the offer comes in, say that you're not able to make that time, but hope that everyone has fun. Fade away.

This. And find new friends.

Just do you. If your friends are toxic to you then move on and find some new ones that aren't. I've become increasingly unsociable in my 40s but I still enjoy seeing certain friends, but generally do it over coffee/dog walk rather than big nights out, a lot happier for it too.

Focus on the people who do care. If you've recognised that the people you socialise with don't give a shit about you and you don't enjoy going out with them, you are free to decline their invitations and never see them ever again. A small number of quality friendships with people who know you, care and share interests with is much better than having lots of shallow, meaningless acquaintances. You don't have go out, you definitely aren't the only one who hates it. The noise, the rowdiness, the crowds, the getting home, the expense etc etc are definitely off putting. But there's a million other things you can do instead.

I'm in agreement with the OP on this matter. 6 years ago my situation changed and after many years of helping others, going out of my way to help them and ignoring my own wants, desires and hobbies to give them assistance, drive them to places or just give my time to help with maintenance, decorating or the like, I found myself in need of help and I asked, the majority decided they were too busy and one even said, "what the fuck do you want now"? From that moment an awful lot of people became ex friends and I removed their numbers on my phone, I still recognise some numbers and if these show on my phone, I ignore them. When I was really on my uppers and in dire need of someone to talk to and help, only one friend was to be of any good to me. This friend loaned me £2000 to help me furnish my new home and get make sure I wasn't sleeping of the uncarpeted floor of my bungalow. I've since paid him back and very thankful for his help.

I have no regrets about what I've done, it's made my life a great deal easier.

I have stopped socialising with and messaging anyone who makes it obvious they don’t care about me. Life is too short to waste on such people. I have wasted so much of my life and have so many bad memories of events I went to where I ended up feeling isolated or put down, and the people I put my energy into when they were down on their luck who vanished when I needed support, or worse, made my situation a lot worse. I decided I didn’t want anymore crappy memories, so I only invest my energies into people where there is mutual care and respect these days.

Thank you for all the responses, it has really helped.🙏

What would your ideal friendship look like?