I’ve left secret alcoholic/addict he won’t leave the house!

[Gotsomepegsdave]

Finally saw the light and ended the relationship yesterday. He has turned resentful and is being totally unreasonable.
this is the situation :
we recently bought a house less than a year ago! ( I realise this was a massive mistake but what is done is done)
we are in a. two year fix mortgage wise and will owe 3k in early repayment fees.
neither can afford to buy the other out or afford to buy another property.
up until 2 years ago ex lived with his mum (yeah I know another red flag) I have kids it would be really difficult for me to easily find a rental property he can just move into his mums but he is saying why should he leave and he will stay here etc

I do not want my kids to be around this horrible atmosphere. Now that I’ve ended the relationship I want to be free of him.

Has anyone else been in this situation and has any advice?

if one of us leaves until the property is sold what happens with the mortgage should we both still pay it even thought only one of us is living there? I couldn’t afford to do that

Is the mortgage in joint names ? That is the important question.

Yes mortgage is joint

Then neither of you had a 'right' to the house above the other.

Do not listen to lots of nonsense on here about changing the locks.. that is not legal unless you give him a key.

You could look on the web for the criteria for an occupation order but unless you have grounds it is doubtful.

I'm sorry not to give you better news. You need to save up for a deposit on a rental... but you absolutely need to pay your mortgage or your credit will bomb .

It would be unfair for him to rent somewhere and also pay the mortgage - and I’m guessing it’s unaffordable for either of you to carry a share of the mortgage plus rent. Can you live together until the house is sold? Not ideal by any means but your options are limited - he has as much right to stay there as you do.

He has turned resentful and is being totally unreasonable.

I think you also need to consider you’ve just told him the relationship is over, it’s likely he hasn’t seen that coming even if you’ve been saying you’re unhappy. You’ve possibly been thinking about it for a while and had time to process it a bit, he hasn’t. You’re effectively making him homeless - he’ll need time to process that and think about what to do next. I’d give it a bit of time for him to at least get his head round things, you may find he becomes more reasonable once he’s had space to think.

Usually when someone leaves they don’t still pay the mortgage too as they generally need the money for rent. My brothers ex wife left and she stopped paying, this didn’t affect the final 50% share they both got (she bought him out with her new partner). Legally you’re both responsible for the mortgage but you can’t force someone to pay their half when not living there. I think you either persuade him to go again, unlikeIy he will, or you go. Chances are you’ll both end up living there living separate lives until you can sell. Not ideal but difficult circumstances with the fixed deal

Thank you for the responses. I’m hoping in time he will accept things. I have and will continue to look for a property. Bit as I said before he has somewhere he can go right now that is free! Now that his alcoholism and codeine addiction is exposed he was freely drinking last night and being nasty to me and I fear this will only get worse and I don’t want my kids to be around that. The house is very small so there is only one recoetion room I stayed in the bedroom last night but he is still sharing the bed.
I wouldn’t expect him to pay for mortgage if he didn’t live here or me but I didn’t know what the rules are for example if I stayed and paid the mortgage for a year and he didn’t then is it fair he would get 50% of the Property when sold? And vice versa

Is he your husband or your partner ?

There is a legal difference..

He is my partner

The outcome should be straightforward. The house is sold and you split the equity at some point. If one person lives there they should pay the mortgage because they are depriving the other of the benefit of the home.

You can use lawyers to arrive at the same the outcome but which will cost money. It would be better to try mediation to sort out the financial split and sale of the house. If he wasn’t an addict.

I wouldn’t rely on an addict to pay my mortgage. I wouldn’t expect an addict to want to move in with parents who might limit their addictions. He is likely to hole up in the property getting wasted.

I would probably get an occupation order based on his addiction. Then tell him the house will be sold in a year and he will get half the money. Then follow through with this and get him out of your life asap.